


of rusted and lovely things

by stillusesapencil



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Western, Angst, Arranged Marriage sort of, Dog BB-8, F/M, M/M, Mail Order Brides, Pining, Slow Burn, gunslingers and cowboys and ranchers, western-typical action
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22698238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillusesapencil/pseuds/stillusesapencil
Summary: Rey agrees to be the wife of Poe Dameron, moving west and starting anew. Her new husband is not what she expected, nor is ranching life. But there is much she likes about her new life, including her husband's friend, Finn. But Finn and Poe have secrets of their own, and D'Qar holds more than just horses and dust. Soon Rey finds herself at the center of a conflict between her friends and the outlaws that pester the town, and in the middle of complicated relationships with both men in her life.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn/Rey
Comments: 115
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, here it is, the may-have-bitten-off-more-than-I-can-chew au. There's no turning back now! 
> 
> I am deeply in debt and hugely thankful for my betas, [Victoria](http://www.passthescoobysnacks.tumblr.com) and [Raye](http://www.rayeofstarlight.com). They have caught countless errors, provoked thought, and offered wonderful encouragement, and I don't think I'd be this far without them. Any errors remaining are mine, not theirs. 
> 
> Without further ado, I give you the massive jedistormpilot au that won't leave me alone.

The train lurches, and she wakes, hearing again the constant roar and clatter of the wheels and engine. She’s sure it’s a beautiful engine inside this rattler, but right now she’d just really like it to let her sleep. She pushes off from where she’d leaned against the grimy window in sleep, blinking at the passing scenery. Sagebrush approach and pass by; a few hunched and twisted trees; but mostly it is flat, flat, flat. Fluffy white clouds float over the brown horizon. This is the landscape of western Texas, which is to be her new home.

Rey made sure to face forward on the train, because she needs to focus on what is approaching, rather than what is already past.

~

The ad in the personals had read:

_ Homesteader in Texas in search of an able-bodied person willing to work on small ranch. Must be able to learn and assist with farm tasks. Please direct inquiries to Poe Dameron. _

The address was below, for D’Qar, way out in Texas. 

“You’re never going to get a wife like that,” Rey muttered. Most city girls she knew wouldn’t want to “assist with farm tasks.” But Rey was a factory girl, born into a life of hard work and difficulty. “Farm chores” honestly sounded like heaven compared to the hot, tight, noisy manufacturing work. At the very least, she wouldn’t be locked inside. On impulse, she tore the ad from the paper, and tucked it into her pocket. 

She’d kept the ad for almost a week before replying. Then, Unkar’s threats became too much, his pay too small, and Rey snapped. She replied to the letter, introducing herself as a “lady of small means but strong will, able to assist in farm chores and homemaking.”

When Poe replied, he was courteous and polite, but succinct. They exchanged a few more letters, revealing more about themselves and attending to the details of travel. She agreed to move west, and to marry him. In his final letter, he enclosed the money for a train ticket. 

Marry him.

Well. It  _ is _ in the title. Mail-order bride. 

For better or worse, she’s moving west. Permanently. 

~

The only other person in the stage coach is a slender red-haired man, clothed in all black. Everything about him is sharp--his chin, the glint in his eyes, his very posture. He gives her a disdainful look before tipping his top hat over his eyes and promptly going to sleep. She is left alone with her thoughts. 

D’Qar is so far in the wilderness, there isn’t even a train station. She hopes it’s a nice town, with nice people. She’s never been anywhere but the city, but she’s seen the brochures for the riches out west. Settlements are much smaller than she’s used to, and there’s big stretches of grass. The brochures made it look like there was more green, though. Not this dry, windswept plain. 

Would her future husband be just as misrepresented, too? 

Rey twists her ungloved hands together, feeling the scar on the back of her right from where the textile machine had misfired. From his letters, Poe seemed a kind but reserved man, pragmatic and determined. They were always brief, but in each one he included a kind word to her--how welcomed she would be, how he was looking forward to meeting her, how much he hoped she’d like his ranch. Of course, he could be an alcoholic, or very old, or a complete boor.

Oh God. What was she in for?

~

The stagecoach stopped at a “station”--really it was nothing more than a small building near the blacksmith’s shop, large enough to hold food and things for the horses, but nothing more. Her traveling companion turns up his nose at the tiny building, exiting in front of her, brushing dust from his clothes. Whatever he removes returns immediately with every motion he makes. Rey climbs out and gathers her case and carpetbag, holding all her worldly possessions. She scans the people milling around, looking for anyone who might be waiting to meet his wife. 

And then she sees him. 

Poe Dameron stands at the back of the crowd, arms crossed over his chest and chin tipped back with a confidence that draws Rey’s eye. Dark curls of hair peep from under his hat, and beneath his jacket, his white cotton shirt is unbuttoned what feels scandalously low. He is golden--almost glowing, it seems, though that might only be Rey’s active imagination. 

He spots her, just stepping off of the stair. Their eyes meet. He smiles. 

That. That is a smile Rey could fall for. Her heart pounds louder in her ears and she swallows once, hard.

He elbows through the crowd and offers her a hand, gently helping her down. “Miss Rey?” He removes his hat, and she gets the first looks at his eyes. They are kind eyes, eyes familiar with the business of smiling and laughing and winking. She can already see the traces of laugh lines, the paths they run when brought to joy. She could love those eyes. She could. 

“Yes. Mr. Dameron?”

“Poe, please. And--yes. Welcome to D’Qar!” 

Rey glances at the dusty town. There’s not much to see--a single road lined with storefronts, possessing the saloon, the general store, the blacksmith, and detached from the other buildings, the church. “Small,” she says unconsciously, but it is not meanly meant. The quiet is welcome. All her life, Rey has heard nothing but the roar of the city, and in the last few days, the rumble of the train and the clatter of the stagecoach. 

“Do you like it?” Poe asks, glancing from her to the street.

“It’s nice,” she offers. 

“It’s home,” he says, and jams his hat onto his head. He picks up her suitcase in one hand. “To the church?”

“Oh. Now?”

“Yes.” He glances at her, already leaning in the direction of town. There is laughter in the creases of his eyes as he says, “You didn’t come all this way to jilt me at the altar did you?”

“No,” she replies faintly. She’d been hoping for a chance to wash first, at least catch her breath, but--

Well, alright. She did come all this way to marry him. 

At the chapel, they are met by a man in black robes Rey assumes is the pastor, and two others. Poe begins to smile at them before they even turn round. 

“Finn! Buddy!” 

The two people turn. One--a broad-chested black man--darts forward to embrace Poe, crying, “Happy Wedding day!”

The other, a small, stately looking woman in denim and sporting a gun holster, smiles at Rey and extends a hand. “Rey,” she says, husky and warm, and Rey feels a spark of kinship.

“Yes ma’am.” This woman, in denim and plaid, shorter and older than all of them--this woman could be a queen. Rey, in her faded practical cotton, wants to drop a curtsy or bow or kiss her hand. 

“Welcome home, Rey,” the woman says. “I’m Leia.” She smiles, face softening into welcoming creases. 

“Thank you.”

Poe, his arm slung over Finn’s shoulder, nods at them. “Rey, this is Finn. He’s my best friend.”

Finn untangles himself from Poe long enough to shake Rey’s hand. “Rey, I hope we can be friends. I’ve heard a lot about you from Poe--from what he guessed about you.”

Poe looks abashed. 

Rey’s frazzled mind snags on that one thought-- _ he talked about me? _

“I’ve asked them to stand witness today. They’re both good friends to me.”

“You’re ready?” the pastor asks. He’s asking them both, but he’s looking at Rey. She takes a deep breath, and nods once, firmly. No backing out now. 

“We are gathered here today, in the sight of God and men, to join Poe Dameron and Rey Smith in holy matrimony.”

Rey hasn’t been to many weddings, but from what she knows, theirs is rather non-traditional. There’s no mention of love, for one, and there’s no one there to give her away. Rather, they both stand at the altar to give themselves away, to each other, to make a commitment. 

Rey says what’s instructed of her, and Poe says it back. He pulls out a box with two simple rings. Her hand shakes as she holds it out to him. Gently, he takes her hand in his (larger, so much larger), and slides the ring down over her knuckle to rest at the base of her finger. He squeezes, so slightly no one would notice, and she meets his eyes. 

There’s a question there, but also hope. He wonders if she’s committed, and he hopes she is. 

Rey gathers herself long enough to put the other ring on Poe’s hand--his palms and fingers are calloused, and there are a number of small scars on his hands. These are good hands, strong hands. 

She squeezes his hand as he did hers. 

“You may kiss the bride.” 

Rey’s fingers spasm inside Poe’s grip. Kisses are how weddings end, of course, but she hadn’t thought that far ahead. Things happened too fast for her to think much at all. She’d thought of kissing him maybe in the future, perhaps, after they’ve had time to know and love each other. Not now. Not yet. 

She hasn’t even known him for an hour. 

Poe leans in tentatively, slow, giving her plenty of time to prepare. She tips back to meet him. The press of his mouth is firm, sure of itself. It lasts only a beat before they break apart and Finn is clapping and jostling forward to sign the certificate. Leia gives Rey a gentle press to the shoulder before leaning up to sign, too, and the pen is passed around and that’s it. Just like that, they’re married. 

Things blur, after that: the goodbyes at the chapel, the confusion of being led through town, the stress of mounting a horse. Suddenly she is on a horse and Poe is behind her, warm against her back. 

That’s her husband, back there. 

What an odd thought. 

“How far until--until your ranch?”

“Not long, if you hang on.” 

“Hang--hang on?”

“Black Beauty likes to go fast.” Poe wraps one arm around her waist, cupping just under her ribcage, and pressing his chest against her back. He kicks the horse into a gait that feels like flying, and he laughs near her ear as they soar toward the horizon.

The wind steals her breath and she finds she loves the buffet of it against her face and the whip of it in her ears. She laughs, too, thrilled and enamored, and they race onward towards the ranch.

It doesn’t seem long to Rey before they are pushing up an incline, and Poe says, “Here it is,” pride seeping into every word. They top the hill and she sees the ranch. There’s a cluster of buildings--a barn, a woodshed, a chicken coop, and set aside from the rest, a cabin. 

Poe trots Black Beauty down the hill, up to the barn, where he slides off and helps Rey down. He unsaddles and unbridles the horse, moving around the barn with practiced familiarity. Rey catalogues his movements, should she ever need to do what he is now. 

Once he finishes with the horses, he gestures for her to follow him toward the cabin. They are met halfway by an enormous dog barrelling to Poe. It is shaggy, an off-white color, spotted on the back and head with warm orange. It leaps on him, tongue hanging out of its mouth, and he steps back at the impact laughing. He rubs its ears, receiving copious licks. 

“Rey, this is BB.”

“Hello,” Rey reaches to pet it’s head, and the dog drops to sniff at Rey before dropping into a sit at her feet, panting. “Aren’t you a good--boy?”

“No, girl. Believe it or not, BB was the runt.”

“Are her siblings horses?”

Poe laughs. “No. But BB was the only one I bottle fed, so maybe that had something to do with it.”

“What does BB stand for?”

“Whatever I need to, really. She was baby eight, so that’s where it started. Big baby, beautiful baby, occasionally big bastard. Beatrice Bernadette. Bodacious beauty. Whatever.”

Rey laughs, straightening back up. “I think BB and I are going to be good friends.”

Poe smiles, and extends his arm in a sweeping motion toward the cabin. They pass the hen coop, which Rey will have to ask about later, and then they reach the cabin.  _ Their _ cabin, Rey realizes belatedly. 

Poe pauses in the doorway, hesitating just a moment, but he turns to her with a grin and sweeps her off her feet. “You should be carried over the threshold on your wedding day.” He says it like it’s law from God above, like it’s set in stone. He carries her straight through the front of the house (Rey spots a dining table and a rocking chair) and through a doorway into the bedroom. The bed takes up most of the room, big enough for two, and this is where Poe deposits her, seated on the edge of the bed. 

Her stomach jumps. Bed. Wedding. Husband. 

It’s all happening so fast, and Rey wasn’t expecting this, but she wasn’t expecting Poe, either. She wasn’t expecting her breath to still at the sight of him, and she wasn’t expecting him to smile like the sun, and she wasn’t expecting to  _ want _ this. 

She slides her hands up to his neck to pull him down and kiss him soundly, causing him to lean over her, pressing her closer to the mattress. He responds in kind, mouth open and hot, pressing insistently. She tugs gently at the long curls at the nape of his neck; this elicits a hum, and she tugs again, encouraged. She scoots back on the bed, making room for him to put one knee on the mattress, when he suddenly yanks away and stumbles back. 

He gasps and stares at her, mouth parted and red, brows furrowed. “I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I’m going to sleep in the barn.” Before she can say a word of protest, he turns on his heel and is gone.

~

When Rey wakes (better than she’s slept in a long time, in a bed, a real bed, with sheets and covers) the sun is pouring through the window, and there is a rhythmic banging outside. She dresses quickly, and exits the bedroom, pausing only briefly to snatch an apple from the kitchen counter. 

Going outside, she follows the banging sound to where Poe is chopping wood--and by the looks of the pile, has been for some time. He tosses the split pieces to the pile sharply.

Rey carefully scoops up the wood, heedless of any splinters. She’s dealt with far worse than a splinter. “Where is the woodshed?”

“Behind the house.” Poe motions back the way she came. 

So she takes the wood, stacks it carefully, and repeats, until Poe stops chopping. It continues like this for most of the day--Poe works, she asks questions as needed, and they get jobs done. They feed the horses and chickens, weed the garden, and harvest a basket of tomatoes. Poe makes her ride in front of him to check on the red cattle herd far out in the north pasture. The day passes quickly, and Rey finds she is exhausted as they ride Black Beauty back to the house. 

Poe cooks them dinner, and after, they sit in the dying sunset light coming in through the windows--that are paned with real glass, Rey notices. Ranching may be more lucrative than she assumed. Poe has a large ledger book, and he writes down sums from time to time, mumbling to himself. BB settles by the hearth with a heavy dog sigh.

Rey’s fingers itch for something to do. Back east, she’d been the designated machine mechanic. Her nimble fingers and analytical brain aided her in mending even the most stubborn of machines. She used to take home scraps, and tinker with them, just for something to do. She’d made things, too--sometimes useful, sometimes not. She misses those little bits of metal and wire, wishes to build something now. 

But there is something else they can do.

Rey waits for Poe to finish with his book, and when he sets it aside, she leaves her chair and stands in front of him. 

He looks up at her, a little quizzical, then says, “Yes, Rey?”

She reaches and brushes a stray curl from his forehead, letting her hand drift across his skin to settle on his neck and shoulder. Slowly, she leans down and in, giving him plenty of time to push her away. He does nothing, sits frozen beneath her. 

With her lips almost brushing his, she says huskily, “Yes?”

Poe jerks back, pushing gently at her hip. “No,” he croaks.

“No? But why not?”

“It wouldn’t be right,” he says, swinging out of his chair and standing. BB gets up from the floor and wags her tail.

“Is it so wrong to desire your wife? That’s what I am, isn’t it?”

“I needed someone to help on the farm. This--” he motions between them with a finger “--was not part of the agreement.”

“But we’re married! What’s so wrong about--about--” Rey drops her hands to her sides. 

“I can’t take something that wasn’t part of the deal!”

“It’s  _ marriage-- _ how is this not--? Why did you ask for a wife if all you really wanted was a farm hand?” 

Poe raises his shoulders. “A husband would have served just as well! It wasn’t about the marriage!”

“Guess what, arsehole, it  _ is _ about the marriage! We’re married!” She raises her left hand, waving the ring around in his face. 

Poe runs a hand through his hair. “That’s not--arrrgh!” He stomps to the door. “Goodnight, Rey,” he grunts, slamming the door behind him. 

Rey stares at the closed door, heart pounding and a lump in her throat. Why should it matter? Obviously he hadn’t wanted to marry her, he just wanted a farm hand. Not a wife. She blinks back tears. BB whines, looking from her to the closed door. “I don’t know, BB,” she says. “I don’t know.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, folks, hang on for the ride.
> 
> As always, much thanks to my tireless betas, Victoria and Raye. Their input is forever insightful and valued.

Rey Dameron, née Smith, née nobody, wakes alone in bed. Her husband is still in the barn. BB sprawls on the floor, wuffling in her sleep. Rey steps over her to walk to the empty kitchen. She spots the coffee pot on the stove, and the paper bag of ground on the counter. Poe drank this yesterday, she remembers, so maybe she can make a peace offering.

She coaxes the fire to start in the belly of the oven; fills the tin pitcher coffee pot with water. Now what? The grounds go into the water, and before the coffee is poured from the pot. Perhaps heat the water? She sticks the pot directly into the oven, and waits. 

Five minutes later, she has no way of knowing if the water has boiled so she can add the grounds, so she opens the oven door and snatchs the handle. Almost instantly she yanks her hand back with a yelp. Of course, the handle is heated, she should have known. She clutches her burned hand to her chest, inwardly cursing her inexperience and the coffee pot, for having the audacity to get hot, as metal is supposed to do.

“Are you alright?”

She whirls. Poe is in the doorway, brows furrowed. He must be angry at her for messing up, for causing a delay in his morning routine. “I’m fine.”

“Did you burn yourself? Let me see.” He crosses the room in two strides, and reaches for her hand. 

She uncurls it tentatively. The meat of her hand is red and smarting, but there is no blister. 

Poe tugs her fingers toward him to examine it. “That will need a bandage, if we’re to keep it from getting infected.” There is a box by the hearth, which he fetches, finding a bandage within. He says nothing, just cups her hand in his own and carefully wraps the cloth around her palm several times.

He is frustrated, Rey guesses. He wanted a farm hand, someone competent and strong, someone who knows better than to grab for a tin pot sitting above a fire in an iron stove. 

Poe ties of the bandage firmly, not too tight over the burn. “There. That should hold.” He turns her hand over, and spots the edge of the silvery scar that runs over the back. For a second, he brushes his thumb over the scar, a question forming in his eyebrows.

Rey snatches her hand away. “I’m sorry I couldn’t fix the coffee. I’ll do better next time.”

Poe looks from her to the pot. “The pot goes on the stove, not in the oven.” He grabs a cloth used to dry dishes and folds it before reaching into the oven and retrieving the pot. He demonstrates the proper way to make coffee: pouring in the ground before the water is heated, and letting the boiling water steep the grounds to make coffee. The filter at the spout of the pot catches the grounds before they fall into a cup. 

Rey commits this to memory; she will never fail in making proper coffee again. He will have no reason to be angry with her, at least on that front. 

~

For the rest of the day, she continues to learn her way about the ranch. There is more weeding, eternal weeding, coaxing stubborn root systems out of the red dirt in the garden while the sun’s persistent heat draws sweat to her brow and down her ribs. He rides out to check on the cattle, BB keeping pace with him. She feeds the chickens, avoiding their sharp beaks as they demand their grain. 

At the end of the day, Poe cooks dinner, narrating the whole time, to teach her how to cook, too. This is a task about which she knows at least something. She’d had a kitchen, in the tenement housing she’d shared with other factory girls, and they’d all known how to make a lot out of a little. But the food is different out here, fresher. And more frequently fried. Before tonight, she’d never had a pan-fried tomato, but she finds she likes it, along with the crack of whole peppercorns between her teeth.

After they have washed the dishes and Rey is ready to settle in for the night, Poe leans on the kitchen table and frowns. “If we’re going to continue working together, there’s something we need to address.”

She can’t imagine what she’s done to anger him now. She’d done all her tasks today well, learning quickly and paying attention. What could her shortcoming possibly be? “Yes?”

“You need to learn to ride.”

Oh. So he is not angry, and he is offering her a chance to learn something wonderful. A smile slowly spreads across her face. “Truly?”

“Yes. I noticed you seemed to enjoy it when we first came here, after the--well, the first ride.”

“I did. Can we start soon?”

“Is tomorrow morning soon enough?” He says it with a smile, like it will be his pleasure to teach her.

“Yes! I can hardly wait!” 

“Excellent. I’ll see you in the morning.” His smile fades, and he nods as he makes for the door. 

She wishes he would stay. She wants them to be friends, at least, if they cannot be lovers. But she cannot summon the right words to say. “Goodnight, Poe,” she calls, but he is already gone.

~

Rey is quickly learning Poe does not waste any time. When there is daylight and work to be done, he does it. When he has his mind set on something, he goes for it. He is determined and impulsive, which is why he takes her directly to the barn first thing in the morning and leads out a saddled grey mare that tosses her head and chomps on the bit.

“Rey,” he says, puffing up his chest a bit, “This is Falcon.” 

Refusing to be taken as fearful, Rey approaches Falcon swiftly and runs a hand down her nose. Falcon snuffs, but otherwise makes no acknowledgment of Rey. “She’s beautiful.”

“She used to belong to Leia--do you remember her? From our--from your first day?”

“Yes.”

“Actually, she belonged to Han, and then Leia, and she gave her to me when I started my own ranch.” 

Rey nods, still petting Falcon on her neck and flank. 

“She won’t go too fast for your first time. Should be a nice, easy ride, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you know how to mount a horse?”

Rey gives him a flat look. Of course she doesn’t know, how could she? 

Poe ducks his head. “Right.” So he tells her to only mount from the left side, and shows her how to swing her leg over and get settled on the saddle. He settles on Black Beauty’s back like it’s second nature, like he and the horse are a single organism, and Rey watches the grace with which he flows. 

God, but he’s exquisite. 

Rey stares down Falcon, eyeing the distance between her stirrup and the ground. But Rey’s never gone down without a fight, so she tries to swing herself up as Poe did, but instead slides down Falcon’s flank to land in a sprawl in the dirt. She pops up spitting, shaking her head to clear her vision, Falcon only a few steps away. She catches a peal of Poe’s laughter and whips around to glare at him.

“You’ve never fallen off a horse?” she snaps. 

“Not in ages!” he chuckles before dismounting Black Beauty. 

“You’ve been doing this your whole life! I’ve only just gotten here!” Rey stands, brushing off her skirt. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry. But some of the greatest amusements out here come from laughing at tenderfoots like you.”

“Give me time and I think you’ll find I’m not tender at all.” 

“Is that so?” Poe smirks at her, and she feels her own lips curling upward in response. “Let’s try this again.” He motions her over to Falcon and kneels down.

“What are you doing?”

“Being a gentleman. What I should have done the first time.” He cups his hands over his knee, and motions with his head for her to try again. 

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Rey has fuzzy and dappled memories of fairy tales, told by a woman with a soft voice. In these stories, the princess always met a handsome prince, and the prince knelt down for her. This tender infant memory sprouts now, shaking off cobwebs and unearthing a softness Rey has long forgotten.

Kneeling there, in the sawdust and dirt, his curls messy around his head, and an earnest, sincere look on his face, Poe looks like a handsome prince himself. 

Rey takes a single, deliberate breath. She settles her right foot in his waiting palms, trusting her weight to him as with her left foot, she boosts into the stirrup and onto the saddle, smooth and fluid. The fabric of her dress goes everywhere, into Poe’s face and swirling through the air, but she manages to get settled. Falcon snorts at her weight on his back, but otherwise does not react. 

Poe stands, brushing off his knees, and studies her on the horse.

Rey holds her posture still, hoping it’s correct. He studies her, and seems to find some fault. He seems fixed on something lower down. It’s then Rey realises much of her leg is exposed, enough to be scandalous. She normally cares nothing for such things. Worries like that are impractical. 

Poe is focused on that small bit of calf and ankle, not lecherous, but almost reverent, almost stunned.

Good. Let him desire her, after how he’s rejected her so harshly.

“Something amiss?” she asks innocently.

Poe swallows once, hard. “No,” he says firmly. “Let’s ride.”

They ride in the yard first, just walking and trotting, but Rey takes to it easily, adapting to the rolling rhythm and craving for the swift breathlessness of her first ride. Poe stops them after what seems painfully short, warning her of being saddle sore.

“There will be plenty of time to ride, Rey.” He leads them toward the barn.

Rey pulls Falcon to a halt. “I want to go check on the red herd in the pasture.” She raises her chin. “It can’t be that hard.”

Poe inclines his head like he’s thinking of arguing, but sighs. “Fine. You’re going to regret this.”

“Try me.” 

He starts them easily, trotting, but as they get closer to the pasture, Black speeds up, and Falcon trots to follow. Rey grasps her reigns tighter, but remembers what Poe said about keeping a loose hold. Falcon doesn’t seem like she’ll run away or anything. 

They make it to the pasture just fine, and the herd is fine, so Poe turns them back to the house. 

“Poe!” Rey shouts. “I’ll race you!”

Poe scoffs, circling Black back around. “On Falcon? I love her, but she’s so old she doesn’t go faster than a turtle.” 

Rey cocks her head, smiling haughtily. “I bet she can keep up. I bet she can beat you.” She nudges Falcon to circle, too. 

“If she beats Black and me, I’ll--I’ll feed the chickens tomorrow.” 

“Taken.” They orbit each other once more, smirking at each other, before Poe wheels and shouts, “ _ Go! _ ” 

Rey kicks her heels into Falcon and leans over her neck, giggling into the rushing wind. 

Falcon falls back at first, an old horse struggling to get going. Soon, however, she keeps pace with Black. At the last moment, as the barn appears in view, with Rey standing in her stirrups, bent low and whispering encouragement in her ear, Falcon surges forward. They skid into the yard, dust billowing into the air and floating away in a tan cloud.

Poe slides off Black, shaking his head and laughing. He wipes sweat and dirt off his brow, leading the horses to the barn. “Well played,” he says. “Very good for your first day.”

“What can I say? I’m a natural.” Rey pats Falcon’s neck affectionately. 

“Guess I’ll be feeding chickens in the morning.” 

“I’ll do it with you,” Rey says.

“But you won!”

“But nothing. We tied.”

Poe shakes his head again, and offers her a hand down. She slides off Falcon, her fingers wrapped around his palm. Dust kicks up around her when she lands. 

He lets her hand go, trailing his fingers across her palm. “Thank you for the race.”

“I can’t wait until we do it again.” Rey shifts where she stands, feeling an ache seeping into her seat and muscles. “Just maybe not right away. I’m going to be very sore,” she adds, deprecation seeping into her voice.

“I did try to warn you,” he says.

“Yes,” she agrees, “You did. Dinner?”

“After I take care of the horses, yes.”

“I’ll help. Or--I guess you’ll have to show me.”

“We can do it together. In fact, I’ll tell you what to do, and then we can race.” He grins, bright and open. 

And just like that, they’re friends.

~

Roughly a week and a half after the wedding-- _ their _ wedding--Poe declares it’s time to make a trip to town. He needs to get a horse reshod, and he requests that she do the shopping. Rey agrees, but much like other things, she doesn’t know what a trip to town requires. 

They hitch the cart onto Black, and tie Wing on the back. He hobbles along piteously, his unshod hoof stalling his movements. The ride into town is pleasant, the sun not too brutal, nor the humidity too stifling.

Once in town, they split, Poe to see the blacksmith, Jess, and Rey to the general store.

“Take your time,” Poe says. “Jess is an old friend, so we might even swing over to Rose’s for a drink once she’s done. You can meet us there, sound good?”

Rey nods, feeling an unexpected tiny twinge of jealousy. She stomps down on it quickly.  _ A friend, _ he’d said. An old friend. 

Poe drops her off at the beginning of the (short) street, at the general store. He continues on his way, hat tilted back on his head, toward the blacksmith shop. 

Rey steels herself for confusion, and enters the general store. 

A bell tinkles jauntily at her entrance. From deep inside the store, a male voice calls, “Hello?”

“Hello?” Rey replies, faintly overwhelmed.

Every available surface is covered. The walls are lined with high shelves and drawers, in front of which are display counters. Barrels and bins cover most of the floor space, each labeled neatly.  _ Beans,  _ Rey reads.  _ Peanuts. Nails. Potatoes.  _ From the ceiling hang ropes and riding whips, lanterns and pails. On the nearest counter is a register, a coffee mill, as well as large glass jars of tobacco and penny candy. It is this Rey chooses to fixate on, having not been able to taste a lemon drop since she was a little girl. 

“Can I help you?” the man asks, and Rey stares intently into the back of the store. 

From the dimness emerges a broad-shouldered man, and Rey remembers him. “Finn?”

“That’s me!” Finn smiles at her. “And you’re Rey, Poe’s wife.”

“Rey,” she states firmly, the notion of being “Poe’s wife” giving her a squirmy feeling in her stomach. 

“Well, Rey, I’m very glad to see you. I’ve been looking forward to getting to know you. I was hoping Poe would bring you around soon.” He’s still smiling, and Rey can only find it in herself to nod. “So what can I get for you today?”

Rey gazes around at the abundance in the small building, at the oodles of merchandise and food, so much food, and she says faintly, “I don’t know.”

Finn’s smile disappears, and he takes her elbow gently. “Would you like to sit down?”

She yanks her elbow out of his grasp reflexively, but relaxes at his concerned look. “That would be lovely.”

He leads her to the back of the store, where a pot-bellied stove warms several chairs and a small checkers table. He seats her in the chair farthest from the stove, perhaps assuming that the late summer heat has gotten to this poor city girl. 

Rey blinks away her confusion, and focuses on the checkerboard. “I’ve never played checkers.” 

“That’s something we’ll have to rectify immediately.” Finn pulls the table closer, and begins arranging the checkers.

“Wait, please, I’m not sure I can play right now.” Rey pulls herself together, having finally made peace with the fact that there is indeed, this much food available. In the city, she’d been so used to going hungry that she’d forgotten that some people never went to bed hungry in their life. 

Immediately, Finn stops moving the checkers. He folds his hands in front of him, ducking his head. “Sorry. I got excited.”

Rey smiles, enjoying this man’s euphoria at meeting someone new. “I came to get things for Poe--and me.”

“Of course. What do you need?”

Rey’s shoulders slump. “I’m supposed to be buying provisions but I don’t know what he needs and he didn’t give me a list and I didn’t ask because I’m still trying to learn and I’m so tired of being useless half the time and--” she stops, taking her turn at being embarrassed. She’s just aired all her dirty laundry, and to one of Poe’s good friends, no less. “You didn’t need to know all that.”

To her surprise, Finn laughs, a sound like a deep-toned bell. “Poe can forget sometimes, that other people cannot read his mind. Let’s see what we can do for you, then, Rey?”

She nods, and he reaches out to where she’s white-knuckling the arm of the chair. His large dark hand closes over her small pale one, and she feels safe and covered. Things are going to be alright. 

“Jannah?” Finn calls, “Would you get rey a glass of water?”

To the left of the stove is a doorway hung with a curtain. It is through this that Jannah appears, smiling at Rey. “One glass of water for the lady.” She hands the glass to Rey and flips a chair around to straddle it, her skirt riding up her calves. Folding her arms atop the back, she looks carefree and vivacious. “Rey, is it?”

Rey nods. “That’s me. It’s nice to meet you.”

Jannah dips her head. “Likewise.” She has a scarf wrapped around the front of her hair, letting the curls bounce free at the back. Rey likes it, likes the way it moves, as though it too is free and untroubled. “How are you finding D'Qar?”

“Hot,” Rey answers honestly, and Jannah laughs. “And--confusing, a lot of the time, but--” she remembers Poe’s grin after their horse race, the way he’d knelt in the dirt as before a queen “--but nice, too. Kind.” 

Finn is smiling like he knows a secret. “He is kind.” 

Jannah swats at Finn, and turns to Rey. “So what were you sent here for? We have almost everything.”

Rey thinks over the things they cook, the things they need. “Coffee. And beans, and flour, and--are there potatoes? I’d like to try those.” 

Jannah smiles with one corner of her mouth. “You’ll eat so many potatoes you’ll get sick of them.”

Finn produces a pencil and a sheet of paper, and together, the three of them slowly think through all that Poe and Rey might need. Salt, lard, nails, and chicken feed make the list, as well as a number of other things Rey would have never remembered. 

Finn is gentle and patient, and he knows Poe well, able to think through the man’s motives and desires. Jannah, meanwhile, cracks jokes and makes Rey feel at ease. 

Finally, the list is done, and Finn and Jannah scurry all over the store, gathering all the items. They use rolling ladders to reach the high shelves, coasting along the wall as though they can fly. 

“And--a length of denim,” Rey adds. “I want some of those pants like Leia wore.” 

Finn shakes his head. “Can’t buy that. We’ll have to order it in.”

“Oh.” Rey deliberates. If she orders it without asking Poe, she would be spending money he hadn’t planned on. “Then--never mind.” She gets enough wrong without making that sort of obvious mistake.

Finn and Jannah share a look, but Finn rings up her total cost and Rey pays for it with the coins Poe gave her. 

“And these,” adds Finn, handing her a small paper sack of lemon drops. “No charge.”

“Thank you.” Rey tucks them into the pocket of her dress. Aside from the ring Poe gave her, she hasn’t gotten a gift since longer than she can remember.

“Have Poe bring the cart here, and we’ll load it, so you don’t have to carry all those bags,” he says. 

Rey agrees, and steps out of the store to find Poe. The sun shines on the dusty street, sending glares bouncing off all the buildings. She spots the saloon where Poe likely has gone, and starts to cross the street.

Pounding hooves rumble like thunder, and Rey turns to see a band of horses storming into town.

“Get back!” Finn shouts, as he grabs her to pull her back toward the porch of the general store. 

The other townsfolk crowd onto the porches and sidewalks, anxiously murmuring as the group of horsemen stop in the middle of the road, sending up a cloud of dust. 

There are seven horses that Rey sees, all of them large and heaving. Most of the riders wear wide-brimmed black hats, and pull red bandanas over their noses so only their eyes are visible. One, however, has a black mask covering the whole of his face, with small holes for his eyes. He seems to be the leader, scanning the crowd as the other riders keep their horses reigned in and stamping. 

“What’s happening?” Rey whispers to Finn.

“Nothing good,” he responds in a low voice. 

“Is someone in trouble?”

“They aren’t  _ in _ trouble, they  _ are _ the trouble,” Finn says. “We should go inside.” 

Finn tugs at Rey’s arm, but it is too late. 

The lead rider urges his horse forward to circle Finn and Rey, cutting them off from escape.. “There’s a newcomer,” he says in an eerily soft and deep voice, “And no one thought to invite me to say hello.”

Finn growls, “This isn’t your town, Kylo.” 

“Oh, but it is. This is my town. And I can come and take whatever I want.” He reaches out quick and grabs Rey by the arm, hauling her upward. He means to pull her onto his horse, but Rey responds with a sharp jab to the man’s side. He grunts and instead leaves her dangling off the ground, feet swinging for purchase, both of his hands tight on her upper arms. “You don’t belong here.”

Through the eyeholes in his mask, she meets his gaze and holds it. Let him see her fury. Let him not see her fear, quivering in her belly and breast. “Put me down.” 

He chuckles, low in his throat. “A spirited girl? I’d speak carefully if I were you.”

“Put her down.” Leia’s voice rings out strong, and in the time it takes Rey to turn her head, Leia has her gun pulled out and cocked, trained directly at Kylo. “Let her go.”

Kylo does not move, still holding Rey. “You know what I heard?” He still speaks calmly, slowly. “I heard you raised a whole extra herd of cattle this year, planning to sell at the drive.”

Leia says nothing, squinting in the sun, holding the gun steady.

“You’re not going to shoot me.” 

Rey sees a miniscule tightening of Leia’s mouth. Then, with a twitch, she swings the gun upward and fires. In seconds, all is chaos. 

Kylo jerks at Rey, trying to yank her onto his horse.

“No!” Finn shouts, and lunges. 

Kylo’s riders whip out their guns, and the street dissolves into screams and gunfire. 

Rey gets her fingers wrapped around the meat of Kylo’s gloved palm and  _ twists, _ ripping his arm off her shoulder and sending her to a heap on the ground. Beside her, Finn also lays crumpled. There is blood spilling onto the street. Around them, the horses gallop out of town.

Poe sprints to them, shouting, “Finn!” He drops beside them. “Oh god, you’re shot.”

Finn rolls to his back. “They got my arm, not anything vital, stop your bellyaching.” He reaches up with his good arm to pat Poe’s cheek. “I’m fine.”

Poe’s eyes snap to Rey’s. “Pressure.” 

Together they press on the growing stain on Finn’s arm. It is warm, sticky, and wet, and Rey thinks she might be sick. They shot him. They shot her friend, and he’s bleeding, oh gods, bleeding--

She takes a steadying breath. “Is there a doctor?” 

Poe nods, and they get Finn up, holding tight to him. Poe keeps his hand firmly wrapped on the wound, heedless of the slow trickle of blood between his fingers. His other hand stays on Finn’s back, a steady presence. He is completely focused on Finn.

Rey could be absent, and it wouldn’t matter.

They go to the clinic, met by two men, one tall and blond, and the other short and portly. The tall one speaks with a refined accent, different from the easy drawl of most people in D’Qar. He is the doctor, and he guides Finn to sit, ripping open his shirt sleeve and setting to work. His short friend bustles around, handing over tools and bandages, and tutting at the doctor every now and then.

Rey stays out of the way, her hand fisted in her skirts. 

At the table, Poe stays by Finn, speaking too soft for Rey to make out. When the doctor goes to take out the bullet, Poe seizes Finn’s hand, and Finn squeezes,  _ hard. _ His eyes are screwed shut, his teeth gritted, and even from where she is, Rey can see the blood leave Poe’s hand, at how hard Finn’s gripping. She looks away. 

When she steals another look, Finn is looking up at Poe like he hung the stars in the sky, lips parted, gaze warm. Poe has his head bowed so that it looks like they might kiss. She tears her voyeur look away, and keeps it away.

She is intruding, somehow. Finn and Poe are friends, she knew that. But this is not how friends look at each other. No friends she’s ever seen. 

Jannah comes tearing into the clinic, rushing to Finn and throwing her arms around him. Then she steps back and gives him a good, solid slap to the cheek. “Don’t scare me like that!”

Poe steps back, shoving his hands in his pocket and looking at his boots. “I’ll...leave you to it, then,” he says, and comes back to Rey.

“Shall we go?”

“Yes. All our goods are at the store.”

“We’ll pick them up on the way, then.”

The ride home is quiet. Rey twists her hands in her lap and finds them shaking. She keeps her breathing even, so that Poe won’t notice. 

They arrive and put away their goods, stable the horses, and make dinner. BB greets them with cheerful woofs and tail wags. It isn’t until they’ve eaten that Rey finally speaks what’s on her mind.

“Who were those men today?”

“The Riders of Ren. D'Qar’s very own band of outlaws.”

“What do they do?”

“Cattle rustle, mostly, but they’re not above doing other damage.”

“Is there no one to arrest them?”

“We’re not big enough to have law enforcement yet. Out here, the laws are the ones we agree upon and keep with our own guns.” 

“I need to learn to shoot.”

If he is surprised by her request, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he says, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner.”

“Finn will be alright. There wasn’t anything you could have done to stop it.”

“No, I--I’m sorry about what happened to you.” 

Rey’s hands shake again of their own will, and she clenches them into fists, then stiffens them flat, before finally grabbing them together. None of it conceals her fear. 

Poe crosses to her and slips one hand around her back, almost as he had done to Finn. The other he places on her twined hands. “Rey--” Gently, slowly, he pulls her to him, until her face is buried in his chest and she can smell the scent of sweat and tobacco, coffee and horse. She inhales it, a solid, grounding smell.

She tips her head back to see him. “There’s nothing you could have done. I’m alright. Finn will be alright.” 

“I wish--” He stops, and runs a hand over her hair, pulled into its neat bun. “I’m glad you’re alright. You were quite brave.”

“I was terrified.”

“I would have never known. You were ready to give him hell.” 

She smiles a bit. “Yes.”

“Remind me to stay on your good side.”

“You do a fine job of that.” 

“Hm.” He lets her go, stepping back and shoving his hands into his pockets as he’d done in the clinic. “I guess I’m going to--” taking a step back, he motions over his shoulder, toward the door.

“Poe--” she bites her lip, lowering her hands to her sides.

“Yes?”

“Would you--will you stay?”

All that she’s been through today is worth it for the look on his face. It twists, like the notion is inconceivable to him, then settles into a resigned contentment. “Yes. Of course.” 

They dress for bed, and each climb in on their respective sides. Rey does not try to kiss him. After what she saw between Finn and Poe today, she shouldn’t kiss him. This is not about desire, or romance, or physical need. This is about safety. This is about friendship. 

Poe turns down the kerosene lamp, sending the room into darkness. Rey lies still, listening to him breathe. On the floor, BB stretches and groans. 

Poe chuckles. “I’m really glad you asked me to stay. The barn was getting really uncomfortable.”

“It’s your bed, you should sleep in it.”

Poe thinks on that for a second. “It’s  _ our _ bed.”

Rey’s heart pounds loud in her ears. She remembers the flip of her stomach at Finn’s declaration of  _ Poe’s wife.  _ “I suppose it is.”

“I want you to feel at home here, Rey.” The words settle into the darkness, and Rey does not reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are enjoying it so far! Come tell me hi on [tumblr!](http://www.stillusesapencil.tumblr.com)


	3. Chapter 3

Rey scatters the feed for the chickens as they peck around her feet. She keeps a careful distance from the rooster, who is mean, grouchy, and hates her on principle. The chickens squawk and peck and run in circles. While they are busy, Rey checks the hen house for eggs, and finds a few. The chickens are allowed to run free, but they do their laying in the hen house. 

A fat brown hen pecks indignantly at her thievery. “Thank you, plump one,” she says to the hen. “Your sacrifice is appreciated.”

She brings the warm eggs inside, storing them in a bowl. Poe is washing the breakfast dishes, looking energized. He’s been sleeping a lot better since she offered the bed to him. 

She dusts her hands on her skirt. “If you don’t need serious help today, I’d like to go into town.”

“Town? What for?” He sets the iron skillet on the drying rack, looking surprised but not angry at her request.

“I wanted to check on Finn. And I noticed we need soap.” It’s been three days since the run-in with the Knights of Ren; since Finn was shot.

Poe’s eyebrows flick upward, but he nods. “Sure. You okay to ride by yourself?”

“I think so. Yes.” She lifts her chin. 

“I think I can spare you today,” he says with a smile, “Tell Finn--tell Finn hello for me. And--be safe.”

She nods. “I’ll be back by dinner, at the latest.” 

He nods his assent. 

Rey saddles Falcon with only the slightest trouble. Though not smooth, she knows what she’s doing, and Falcon complies. She boosts into the saddle using a stool, and she’s on her way. 

Once in town, she ties Falcon outside the general store and goes in, calling, “Finn? Jannah?”

Finn calls from the back, and she follows the sound of his voice to the chairs around the pot-belly stove. His chair is closest to the stove, with the checkers table in front of him. His arm is in a white cloth sling. Jannah is sitting splayed-legged in a chair, balancing a tray of buttons on her knees, sorting them into piles. Finally, there is Finn’s checkers opponent, someone Rey’s never seen before. 

She sits daintily in a chair, her copious skirt covering almost to the tips of her clean boots. Her dark hair is pinned up on the top of her head, and the hat set on the empty chair next to her is decorated with a variety of yellow silk roses. She has a petite, round face, and she looks up at Rey with a bright and earnest smile. “You must be Rey!” 

“Yes--that’s me.” She reminds Rey of the wealthy women she’d seen in the city, and she wonders what this woman is doing way out here.

The woman stands, taking one of Rey’s hands between her own. “I’m Rose. It’s an absolute pleasure to meet you.” 

Bewildered, Rey asks, “Does everyone in this town know of me before I meet them?”

Rose laughs, as do Finn and Jannah. “No, merely Poe’s closest friends. We have been excited to meet you since he first wrote to you.”

Rey remembers the wedding day, the knowledge that Poe talked about her, and it seems he spoke of her to many people.  _ His closest friends. _ “It’s nice to meet you.” 

“Of course.” Rose lets go of Rey’s hand, smoothing her skirt and grabbing her hat. “I must go--it’s almost lunch time. Come by sometime soon, Rey. I want to be your friend.” 

Rey nods, watching the elegant lady glide out the door, her skirt swaying around her. The bell rings as the door closes. Rey turns back to Finn. “I came to see how you are doing. Poe said to tell you hello.” 

“Healing very well. I went to the clinic yesterday, and Dr. Cedric said it was not infected. Thank you for asking.”

“You’re welcome. I...I was very worried for you. I wanted to...thank you for...trying to help me.” She swallows. He’d jumped right into danger for her.

Finn’s smile is gone, his expression troubled. “Of course. Kylo is despicable, and I’d hate it if--if he hurt you.”

“Did you need to buy something?” Jannah cuts in, her voice strained. 

“Yes, I, um, actually needed some soap. For laundry?” She bites her lip.

“Sure.” Jannah sets aside her button tray. Finn makes as if to stand, but Jannah stops him with a sharply pointed finger. “You stay right there.”

Finn meekly sits down, shrugging at Rey.

Jannah hops on a rolling ladder, coasting to about midway. She gathers a couple cakes of soap, and heads to the counter to wrap them in brown paper. She hands them to Rey, and returns to her buttons.

Her primary purposes accomplished, Rey is left standing in the middle of the store feeling lost and unwelcome. Maybe she’d been wrong in assuming Finn is her friend? Maybe Jannah doesn’t like her? Did she say something wrong?

“Rey,” Finn says gently, “I’m not much use with my arm, so...would you like to play a game of checkers?”

Tension sliding out of her shoulders, Rey sinks into the chair across from Finn. “Of course.”

He resets the board and explains the rules, demonstrating with a few chips. Rey follows along, trying to gather all she can about strategy. When they play, Rey is, of course, terrible. 

“It’s to be expected,” Finn says consolingly. “No one wins their first game.”

Rey makes a face. “Well. I guess I’ll just have to keep coming back until I do win.”

“I’d like that,” Finn smiles. “I’d like that a lot.”

Rey returns his smile.Yes, Finn is her friend. It’s nice to know. 

“How about we go over to Rose’s before you go,” Finn suggests, but it’s Jannah that quickly answers,

“Wonderful idea!” She gets up so swiftly she knocks a few buttons loose, but she doesn’t seem to care.

Jannah leads the way to the saloon, swinging her arms briskly at her sides. In the saloon, there’s a few people, mostly gathered at tables. It looks like a stage coach has made a stop here, by the looks of a couple dusty folks wearing traveling clothes. 

Rose greets them with a wave and a bright smile, gesturing for them to sit at the bar. Jannah immediately complies, hoisting herself on the barstool with ease. Rey and Finn take the two stools on the end, side by side.

Rose leans on the counter. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Your finest, for the lady,” Finn says, gesturing to Rey. “And I’ll take my usual.”

Rose grins, and disappears into the kitchen. 

Finn nudges Rey’s elbow. “That’s Jess, there, at the table with Snap. Snap and his wife just got started on their homestead.” He continues around the room, naming various members of the town. “And that--” he stops, pointing to a man sitting alone in the corner. “I don’t know who that is.”

Rey blinks, staring. “He was on the carriage with me when I arrived.”

Finn hums. “Don’t think I’ve seen him much.”

“Maybe we should welcome him?”

“Why not?” He offers her a hand to get down from the stool. She takes it, and once she’s on the ground, his fingers linger in her palm. Just a brush, and then he lets go.

When they reach him, the man looks up from his paper, surly and frowning. 

“Howdy,” Finn says, “I’m Finn, and this is Rey. Just wanted to make sure you’ve been welcomed here.”

The man frowns at them, his pale eyes narrowed. “I hate it here. Dusty and hot.”

Finn shifts his weight, coughing. “Well, uh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

The man wrinkles his nose at them both.

“I think we rode in together,” Rey says. 

He looks her up and down. “So we did.”

She pauses, frustrated. “What’s your name,” she snaps, with considerably less kindness than she’d meant.

“Hux. Now go away before I get annoyed.” He reaches below the table as though for a gun, and Finn and Rey decide they’ve had enough, and go back to the bar.

Rose brings out their food--plates of cold cuts with beans and bacon, and two glasses of beer. And so they enjoy their lunch and drink probably too much beer, but the cold drink is welcome on a heated day like today. They eat and converse (and Rose and Jannah flirt), and Rey feels, for the first time, the assurance of the company of friends.

When she feels she has spent too much time, and that she should return before Poe misses her, she makes her excuses.

“Rose?” Finn calls her over, pushing coins at her. 

Rey reaches for her coin purse, in the pocket of her skirt, but Finn places a hand on the small of her back. “My treat,” he says. 

“I can’t let you--”

“You can,” he assures her, and helps her off the stool.

“Thank you.” She pauses for a moment. “Well--thank you for a wonderful day.”

Finn smiles and nods. “Anytime. Come back soon.”

“Of course. Continue to feel better.”

“Worry not.” He walks her to Falcon, and she uses the hitching post to boost into the saddle. Finn grins and waves at her, squinting into the sun.

Rey turns her horse to the ranch. It had been a lovely day. And yet, she finds an eagerness in herself to get back to Poe. And she doesn’t mind it at all.

~

A couple days later, Poe and Rey ride out to the red herd to count them. 

“I want to be sure Ren isn’t trying to rustle them. Or if he does, I’ll know.” 

“Where...where does the money come from with the cattle?” Rey doesn’t know how to phrase her question, but she attempts it anyway.

“In the fall, cattle drivers will come to buy the cattle and take them back east, up to Chicago or St. Louis or Dallas. They’ll be sold for beef, transported all over the country.” Poe adjusts his hat. “This is my first year to have cattle to sell. I bought my herd off Leia’s. She was...very generous with the price.”

That makes sense. Leia seems a generous person, and she and Poe are undoubtedly friends. “She’s been ranching a long time, right?”

Poe nods. “Yes. She and Han--her husband--they ran the biggest ranch outfit in D’Qar. But her son, uh. Well. He didn’t appreciate what she did and didn’t want to live out here and, um. The less said about that the better.”

“Where is Han now?”

“Han? Oh, he went further west to pan for gold. He has some friends, and he comes back sometimes. But with their son leaving…” Poe shakes his head. “It was a terrible time.”

“How long ago?”

Poe thinks on that. “A little over ten years ago, I think. My parents had just--well.”

Rey urges Falcon forward gently, waiting for him to continue. When he doesn’t, she prompts, “Will I ever meet your parents?”

“No.” He clears his throat. “They both died a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s. It was a long time ago. Leia--she took me in, let me work for her, helped me get started out here. I want to do right by her. Make her proud--and mom and dad too.”

Rey nods, feeling like she’s finally starting to understand her husband.

Poe reaches across between them, grabbing her left hand. “That’s mom’s ring.” He runs a thumb over it and down her finger, and for a moment, they’re holding hands between their horses. “I always wanted to give it to someone special.”

Rey flinches. She certainly doesn’t fit that bill.

He takes a breath, swallows. “I’m glad it was you, Rey.”

“Thank you,” she manages, and he releases her hand. 

It’s nigh impossible to get a complete count on the herd--most people don’t use fences, and trust the branding and the stupidity of cattle to keep them together. And, for the most part, they are together, but Poe and Rey round them up with BB’s assistance. 

Poe notes the size of the herd with narrowed eyes, and finally gives a nods. “Alright. Let’s head to the house.”

They eat and clean, and turn to their nightly occupations: Poe, the books, and Rey, mending socks. Poe had admitted to wearing through his socks very quickly, and did not know how to mend them. Rey had tackled the pile of holey socks with all the mending knowledge she knew--mostly gleaned from fixing mistakes at the textile factory. Still, she was a mechanic, and not a seamstress. The socks frustrated her to no end. 

But tonight, Poe looks up from his books and figures, and smiles at her. “I’ve had enough accounts today. Would you like to play a game?”

“But...the socks…”

He rolls his eyes affectionately. “The socks will wait. A game?”

“Yes, of course. I’d love to.”

He pulls out a battered deck of cards, and they play at the kitchen table. They play poker for matchsticks and she cleans him out, teasing the whole time. When he finally is forced to surrender his last matchstick, he throws up his hands with a laugh. “Clearly I was wrong when I assumed you’d be no good.”

“If it makes you feel better, Finn beat me at checkers quite handily.”

“Did he now? Maybe next time you and I can team up on him, and we can get revenge.”

Rey laughs, and Poe grins at her, face dimpling into what she can only label as delight. At the sound, BB comes over and puts her front paws on Poe’s knees, letting out a short, deep bark. Poe chuckles and rubs her ears. 

“Do you feel left out, big baby? Do you want some love? C’mere!” With that, he lets himself topple out of his chair and onto the floor, letting BB crawl over him and tussle, chewing on his hair and ears as he tugs at her fur in playful roughhousing. 

Rey sits in her chair and laughs and watches, egging BB on, and feeling like she might start to belong here, and thinking maybe this would be a real marriage after all.

~

As the days tick by, Rey keeps learning, giving effort to keeping up with Poe in all tasks. They tend to the garden and its endless weeding, care for the animals, and wait out the sticky summer heat. 

Each night, they cook dinner as Rey learns more cooking techniques, and turn to evening tasks. Poe suggests she stop with the socks, and takes them back for himself, offering to her a whittling knife instead, explaining it can be used to make useful things, like spoons or cups. Rey attempts it, finding the twists and pressure of the knife reminiscent of the meticulous mechanical work she’d done in the city. Still, she wishes for wire and gears, but the wood will do for now. 

Each night, they go to bed side by side, saying verbal goodnights and nothing more. Rey falls asleep to the rhythm of his breathing, his light wuffling snore. If she wishes for more than companionship, she dares not voice it. He is a good and patient man, and she can ask no more. 

And there is the matter of Finn. Each time she thinks of her new friend in town, her chest warms as if by an internal candle. And each time she snuffs the simple warmth with the memory of the look that passed between Finn and Poe the day Riders of Ren came to town. 

When the day breaks sultry and heavy, Poe declares, “It’s too hot to not rain. Should be seeing some rain by tonight.” 

Rey accepts this. She has yet to see rain on the western front. 

By noon, a thick grey storm cloud has rolled over the sun, and the wind is picking up. Poe eyes the horizon. “This seems like it could be worse than I thought.” He chews on his lower lip for a moment. “Let’s round up the cattle and put them in a fenced pasture, just so they don’t run away.”

They saddle Falcon and Black, and head to where the red herd was last night. When they get there, the cattle are lowing anxiously and milling about without a leader. 

The wind whips down the plain, pushing against the horses’ breasts. 

“Let’s round them up and drive them southeast!” Poe shouts over the wind. “You go left, I’ll go right!”

Unable to yell over the wind, Rey nods. 

Poe sends BB, and she races around the herd, cutting off a group that was set to break out. Rey and Poe split and press around the outside of the herd, directing them into a cohesive group. 

The wind whips harder, and the first fat wet drops spatter Rey’s face. 

They drive the herd to the eastern gate, with BB nipping at their heels to urge them on. By the time they reach the gate, the heavens open, and a downpour begins. 

Rey draws Falcon next to Black. “Is that all of them?”

Poe squints, water dripping off the brim of his hat. “I think we’ve lost some.” His fingers twitch as he counts. “We’re nearly twenty short.” He cuts his gaze to Rey. 

Without speaking, they urge their snorting horses back through the rain, running across the pasture toward the caprock. If the cows were trying to escape weather, they would have headed toward the shrubby trees near the base of the ridge. 

Thunder rumbles in the distance, and Black balks and neighs, nervous. 

Poe pulls up short, pointing to speckles of red. They draw near to the cows, bawling and shivering in the storm. Poe shakes his head, and Rey knows he’s mumbling something about “Idiot animals.” 

Lighting strikes, lighting up the world in a brief flash, and thunder booms. Black Beauty tosses her head, neighing and jerking under Poe’s hands. 

They round up the last cows, driving them toward the pasture. BB barks and nips, shaking drops from her head. They are almost too the gate--within ten yards--when disaster strikes. 

Lighting strikes again, this time close enough to see the brilliant knife fracture the sky, and Black Beauty spooks. She rears and screams, pawing the air. Rey whirls on Falcon, watching in horror as Poe starts to slide on the slick wet saddle. The horse comes down hard on its front hooves, lurching forward, and Poe sails over her head to crash into the earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. (no i'm not)


	4. Chapter 4

“ _ Poe!”  _ Rey is dismounted and running to him before she finishes her cry. Black spooks and runs away, scattering the cattle and disappearing into the gathering dark. Thunder booms again, drowning Rey’s panting breaths. She drops to her knees beside him, snatching his outstretched hand. “Can you hear me? Poe, are you alright? Please, please--” she’s not sure who’s she’s pleading to, or really what for, all that matters is he needs to be alright, he needs to be  _ alive, _ breathing, something--

She pushes him onto his back, wiping mud from his face. His eyes are shut, but there is a rise and fall to his chest, and a moan escapes his lips. 

“Poe?” she whispers. 

“I’m...here,” he mumbles, still not opening his eyes. 

“Oh thank god, I--” she swallows, settling herself. “Are you hurt?”

Opening his eyes, he twists his head to her, blinking. “I think…” he tries to push himself up from under her hovering hands. “Ow, fuck.” He drops his head to the ground and shuts his eyes again. “Shoulder.” 

Looking now, she can see the way the joint sits is wrong somehow, the sight turning her stomach. 

“Can you move?”

He shifts again, grunting, before laying back and screwing his eyes shut. “Fuck. It hurts, but I can.” 

Rey nods, suddenly quiet and calm. “Alright. We’re going to get you to the house. I’m going for the doctor.”

“But--the cattle.”

She snarls, “ _ Damn _ the cattle, Poe. They’re fine. They’ll find their way home again. You’re far more important.” 

Poe looks like he’s going to argue more, but when he twists to glare at her, he cringes and the fight drains out of him. “Fine.”

“Fine.” 

They get him up, with much groaning and struggling. And then, Rey realizes with dawning horror, there’s no way he can mount a horse. She looks to the gate, at the insurmountable distance between them and it. 

“Let’s go to the gate,” she says, keeping her voice steady. “Okay? Just to the gate.”

Poe grits his teeth. She hears it, where his jaw is near her ear. “Okay.”

They walk, one tortuous step at a time, one slide of boot through mud, then the next. As if in pity of their struggle, the rain slows, becoming nothing more than a steady drizzle. At the fence, Rey eases him down, his back to the wooden slats. He gasps when he hits the ground, screwing up his eyes. 

“I’m going for the doctor. I’ll be back soon.” She reaches out, and runs her fingertips down the curve of his jaw. “Just--hold on a little bit.” 

He looks up at her, through his dripping curls. His hat had been lost somewhere in the fall, and it’s absence strikes her at that moment, such a small out-of-place thing, but noticeable nonetheless. 

He opens his mouth to say something, perhaps to protest, to say he’s fine, but instead, he says, “Be safe. And Rey,” he shuts his eyes and leans into her palm, “Don’t feel too bad. I’ve always wanted to fly.”

She snorts, in spite of herself, and he smiles into her hand, his breath tickling her palm. “You’re an idiot, Poe Dameron,” she says, “And I--” she stops. “I need to go.” She turns, searching the grey plains for their animals. “BB!” 

The dog comes running, barking as she speeds across the sage. 

Rey points her to Poe’s side. “Stay.” 

BB sits, and Rey knows she will not move. 

On Falcon, she gallops, pinching the horse between her knees and leaning over the mane, willing the poor animal to go faster, faster. All the fear and worry she’d suppressed in front of Poe bubbles up, clawing at her throat. Over and over, Poe crashes to the ground, the image stuck on replay. She shuts her eyes against the way his shoulder was twisted, dangling and useless. Her heart pounds in rhythm with the horse’s feet. 

_ What if something worse had happened? What if Black had trampled him? What if I hadn’t been there? _

Like closing doors on a horse, she locks down the frantic, scurrying thoughts, and lets a bouncing refrain loop in her mind.  _ He will be alright and all will be well. He will be alright and all will be well. He will… _

She refuses to consider what might happen if that thought is untrue.

She halts Falcon mid-street in D’Qar, mud splattered on her and the horse. Falcon is in a lather, and as she dismounts, Jess Pava comes running from the blacksmithery. 

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” She grabs Falcon’s reigns. “Where’s Poe?”

“I need the doctor,” Rey pants.

Jess points, and Rey bursts into the room, shouting, “I need the doctor!”

The two men she’d seen before, when Finn was shot, come bustling down the stairs.

“Yes miss, how can I help you?”

“Poe Dameron--at the ranch--hurt--my husband--” her words tumble all over each other.

The doctor cocks his head at her. “I gather Poe has been hurt, miss?”

“Yes.”

“And I need to attend to him?”

“Yes!” For the love of God, why weren’t they moving faster?

“Let me get my kit.” The doctor turns away, then back again. “I know this may not be the best time, but allow me to introduce myself. I am Cedric Theodore Pio. And you are?”

“Rey,” she snaps, “Dameron.”

The doctor’s companion nudges him. 

“Oh, yes, my short irritable companion here is my husband, Arthur Deetoo.”

This time, Arthur doesn’t nudge, he  _ pokes, _ jamming his finger between Cedric’s ribs. 

“Yes, yes, Arthur, I was just being polite. We can leave now. Oh, but first, my bag.” 

Finally, bag in tow, they head out the door, only to be stopped by Finn. “Rey, Jess told me. I’m coming, too. We can take my cart. Jess will look after Falcon.”

She is so relieved to see Finn’s face, she throws herself against him, wrapping her arms around him and nearly sobbing into his shoulder. To hell with propriety. Finn places his hands on her back, gentle and unsure. “Rey,” he murmurs, “We should go.”

Rey sniffs, and lets him help her into the cart. 

“I take it we’ll be riding in the back?” Cedric sniffs, but is silenced by a nudge from Arthur. 

Finn climbs in on Rey’s other side and they are off, bouncing back to the ranch. Back to Poe.

~

Rey paces in front of the chicken coop, the hens scattering in front of her. Snippets of the last half hour flick through her mind.  _ BB8 sitting guard by Poe--the grunting sound he’d made as they’d helped him into the cart--Cedric’s anxious tutting--the blood draining from Finn’s face as they helped Poe inside--the awful grinding sound of the bones in Poe’s dislocated shoulder-- _

That’s when she’d fled. 

Finn comes out of the house, looking troubled but calmer than before. “Well. They’ve done all they can do. Now all that’s left is to keep Poe still.”

Rey crosses her arms over her chest. “That’s going to be a job,” she jokes weakly, even as relief courses through her.

Finn steps close and reaches a gentle hand to her elbow. “Are you alright, Rey?” He tips his head to look at her face. 

“I’m--” as the word escapes her, the gravity of it slams upon her and she lets out a broken-off sob.

Without a word, Finn guides her to the front step and eases her down.

No tears leave her eyes, but as she sits with another man’s arm around her shoulders, Rey realizes she is deeply and unequivocally in love with her husband. This is the man who welcomed her into his home, who told her she was  _ someone special, _ who held her close after her terror that day with Ren. 

And she knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that he loves Finn. 

Finn, now, is brushing his thumb on her upper arm. “He’ll heal. He didn’t die. The arm is set, and he will be up and giving you hell soon enough.”

“Tomorrow, probably.” She shakes her head and offers an approximation of a smile. 

“I’ve been thinking--” Finn shifts, removing his arm from her. “You’re going to need help, with him down, and Jannah can manage the store better than I can...would it be helpful if I came and stayed for a few days? I’m no farmer, but I can ride and cook and--and mend socks! Not that that’s useful.”

“No! That’s very useful--that is, Poe and I are both terrible hands at mending them.”

“Oh. Well. I’d be happy to do that. So I may come?”

Rey feels a stab in her heart--that Finn will be here with Poe, and she’ll not be needed. Poe can have the husband he wants, and Rey can be the farm hand he asked for--but. Finn is her friend, too. And she will need the help. “Yes.” She swallows. “Yes, please. He’ll be so glad you’re here.”

“And you?” 

“Me?”

“Will you be glad I’m here?”

“I...yes, I will be too.”

Finn nods. “Very good. I’ll drive the doctor and his husband back to town tonight, and I’ll bring Falcon back and my things in the morning.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

“I’ll be back in the morning, then.”

~

She brings his dinner on a plate, to the bed where he’s sitting propped against pillows. “I made dinner.”

He stirs, wincing. The pain medication must be wearing off. “Thank you.”

She balances the plate on his knees, and carefully passes the fork to his uninjured left hand. He takes a stab at the food, but his non dominant hand is clumsy and awkward.

Rey hovers a moment longer, sifting her weight from foot to foot, finding his struggle painful to observe. “Can I...can I help?”

Poe deliberately sets down the fork, sighing. “Yes.”

Rey takes the plate back to her own lap, settling on the edge of the bed. She forks a piece of stewed beef, and carefully lifts it to his mouth. He opens, and she feeds it to him, gentle like she would for a child. Poe hums at the flavor, and the meal continues slowly, bite by bite.

She keeps her hands steady and her breathing slow. Without daring to look in his eyes, she watches him through her lashes, noting the exhaustion lining his face, and the occasional wince of pain. It hurts her, to see him like this. He is so determined, so stubborn, that to see him humbled and crippled sends pain to her heart. His injured arm is in a sling, and a blanket is over his shoulders, covering his bare torso. She can see the hard lines of muscles under his skin, born from grit and resolve. And now he is trapped, bound to bed and in need of help. 

When all the beef and beans are gone, she takes the hunk of cornbread and holds it out to him. This he can do, simple movements. 

“Would you…” He won’t meet her eyes. 

“This too?” she asks, soft. 

“Yes. I...I want you to.” 

He wants her to. That is more than enough for her. She breaks off a corner and lifts it to his mouth, placing it on his tongue. Each bite goes in this fashion, and at the last, his traps her finger between his lips, hot and wet for a moment before sliding off her fingertip. She finally looks into his eyes, breath caught. 

He chews, swallows. “Thank you, Rey.” 

“Yes,” she whispers, “Anything.” 

He captures her fingers in his own and raises her hand to his lips. He presses his mouth to her palm, once, twice, and it’s like she’s snared, trapped, unable to escape him. 

“I was so worried today. I thought--I was afraid--” she stops herself. 

“I’m alright,” he mumbles, pressing his cheek to her hand. “See? I’m here and alright and it’s because you had the thought to go for the doctor. You did so good today.” 

His stubble scratches her palm. She swallows. She wants to kiss him, but he’d said no, and they’ve slept in the same bed for so long now and not a single thing has happened and Finn is coming in the morning so she can’t, she won’t. It wouldn’t be fair or right or kind, not with what she knows about how Finn and Poe feel. 

She withdraws her hand. “I need to…” She snatches the dishes and hurries away, throat burning. 

Later, they go to bed and say nothing about it. Poe eases himself down on the bed and Rey pulls the covers over both of them, turned toward his good side. 

Poe looks at her, and reaches for her hand in the dark. He twines their fingers together, a question in his eyes. He offers nothing more. She takes what she can get--his hand in hers, and their breath mingled in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update is late, it's been a busy day. 
> 
> Does anyone want to make a playlist for this fic?


	5. Chapter 5

“I hope it’s not rude, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

Rey frowns at the scene in front of her. Exhausted from yesterday’s events, she’d slept a little later than normal, and Poe was still on bed rest, so he hadn’t risen at their usual time either. And now, in their kitchen, was Finn, scrambling eggs in one pan and frying bacon in another. It smelled like paradise, and if heaven had a sound, Rey bet it would be the sizzling of the bacon.

“No...I’m just surprised you’re here so early.”

Finn shrugs. “I’m a light sleeper.”

“I see. How can I help?”

Again, Finn shrugs, grinning at her. “Let me do this for you.” With a flourish, he spins from the stove, pan in hand, and dumps steaming piles of fluffy eggs on three waiting plates. “And I made coffee,” he adds proudly. 

“Aren’t you just a regular miracle?” Rey teases. “I suppose Poe will need to eat in bed again.” Her mind flashes back to last night, feeding him by hand. She shakes the memory away. 

“Why don’t we all go eat in there, so he doesn’t get lonely?” Finn suggests.

“That sounds like a brilliant idea.” 

They troop into the bedroom, where Poe is propped up on his pillows, and Rey perches on the end of the bed, while Finn hauls in a chair. Poe declares the eggs “scrumptious,” a new word for Rey, and the coffee “perfect.” 

“I think I could run a mile,” Poe says, and proceeds to throw off the covers and try to get out of bed.

Two pairs of hands stop him, on his chest and good arm, as Rey and Finn ease him back onto the pillows. 

“I don’t think you’re ready for that,” Rey says.

Finn adds, “If you don’t rest, you’ll never really heal.”

“I’d be fine,” Poe grumps.

“No, you won’t. I’ll take care of everything, don’t worry,” Rey soothes.

“Fine. But don’t forget the--”

“I won’t,” Rey cuts him off, knowing that whatever he’s about to say is already on her to-do list, and will be finished soon. They’ve been working together long enough that she knows. 

Finn scoops up the dishes and makes for the kitchen. 

Rey stops long enough to lace up her boots before going to the barn.

“I stabled Falcon,” Finn says. “But he’ll need to be fed, probably. And--Rey?”

She turns, almost out the door. 

“I have something for you.”

She hesitates, remembering the lemon drops, the thrill of receiving something freely given. “Yes?”

Finn pulls a package out from the heap of his bags on the floor. It’s wrapped in brown paper and tied with a string, and he holds it out to her.

She takes it, fingers grazing over the paper and string before tugging gently to let the string fall away. The paper she unfolds carefully; they can use it for something. Inside is a stack of fabric, folded and pressed. Cautiously she sets the stack on the table to pick up each piece one at a time. 

The first is a pair of blue jeans, like she’d asked for her first time in town. “Finn! You didn’t--I don’t have money to--”

He holds up a hand to stop her. “It’s a gift, Rey. Jannah helped me with your measurements and--well, anyway. It’s a gift.”

She hugs the pants to her chest. No more troublesome skirts and excess fabric when riding and working. “Oh, Finn, I--” She wants to throw herself upon him and hug him, but she stops herself short. “Thank you.”

His smile is wide and bright and warm. “You’re welcome.” Gesturing to the rest, he says, “Go on.”

There’s two shirts, meant for working. Like Poe’s, they are made of sturdy, practical fabric, and button up the middle. Unlike Poe’s, they are checkered with green and blue, instead of plain white. And finally, there is a long skirt, split up the middle so she can straddle a horse. 

“Leia suggested that,” Finn says, ducking his head, abashed.

Overwhelmed, Rey sniffs. “Finn, this is so much. I--thank you, Finn. Really.”

“Of course.” He dips his head once more, smiling. 

“I have to--I want to show Poe.” She darts back to the bedroom, displaying her treasure, feeling the exuberance of small children. 

Poe runs his hands over the garments with just a faint smile. “Well, are you going to show me?”

“I--oh. Clothes are for wearing, aren’t they?”

He laughs, pushing the clothes back to her. She steps behind the freestanding wooden divider, quickly changing into her jeans and shirt. They fit just right, and Rey feels much more adequate to the task of ranch manager. 

Poe grins when he sees her, nodding. “A regular cowpuncher. You know, I have a pair of spare chaps in the barn. You can have them.”

“Thank you. I’ll take good care of them.”

Finn applauds when he sees her. “Well, go on then,” he teases, “You have a ranch to manage.”

~

At the end of the day, Rey comes back to the house sweaty and tired, and satisfied with a good day’s work. Finn is in the kitchen, standing over a pan of beans, which is a normal meal for her and Poe. 

“Dinner is almost ready. Poe is asleep, so we can eat out here?”

“Sure.” She takes a seat at the table, inhaling the heavy smell of cornbread. 

Finn settles across from her, placing two plates on the table. “I’ll have you know Poe is a horrible patient.”

Rey snorts. “I can guess.”

“Complained all day. Tried to get up at least three times. Only went back to bed because I threatened to whack his good arm if he didn’t.”

Snorting again, Rey laughs into her dinner. “I guess you have him properly handled.” She takes another bite and speaks through the mouthful. “This is delicious, you’re a really good cook.”

Looking at his own plate, he says, “Thank you.” It lacks the warmth with which he usually speaks.

“Where did you learn to cook?”

“I...worked as a cook for a while for a group of travelling cowboys.”

“Whoa, really? That sounds amazing! I bet you got to see so many exciting things!”

Finn hums noncommittally. 

“Did you ever get to go to big cities? Or to see places that are green?”

“Not...not really. We mostly just moved around out here in the desert.”

“Oh. That’s less fun.”

“Yeah.” Finn looks tired, leaning over his dinner. “Rey, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Instantly serious, Rey sets down her fork. “I’m listening.”

“I used to work for Kylo Ren.”

The world spins around her. The man that had threatened her--shot him--he used to work for him? “...I don’t understand.”

“It wasn’t willingly,” he adds quickly, keeping his gaze carefully averted. “He--kidnapped me as a child, me and Jannah, and forced us to come with him.”

“Oh my god, Finn--” she reaches for his hand. 

He turns his palm upward to accept her grasp, warm and gentle. “We were orphans, so it didn’t matter too much anyway, but--”

“No, it does matter!” Rey’s voice breaks, but she carries on. “That’s atrocious, that’s awful--”

“I know, Rey.” He runs his thumb over the back of her hand. “He wasn’t much more than a child himself--seventeen, maybe, but he was strong and fast and the best rider out there.”

“How did you get away?”

Finn sighs. “We ran. Snuck out one night and ran. Ended up on Leia’s ranch. She took us in, cleaned us up, and when Kylo came looking, didn’t turn us in.” 

Rey squeezes his hand. “I’m so glad--so glad.” 

“Leia got me set up with a job at the store, and when the owner decided to chase gold, he left it to me and Jannah.”

“Finn, I--thank you for telling me.” Rey squeezes his hand once more. “Does Poe know?”

“Yes, Poe worked at Leia’s ranch at the time. That’s where we first became friends, actually.”

At the mention of their friendship, Rey withdraws her hand. “You and Poe are close, right?” 

Finn looks sad for a moment, suddenly, but it vanishes as quickly as it appeared. “Yes. We always have been.”

“He cares about you very much,” she says, though the words feel as though they’re strangling her. 

“And I care about him,” Finn adds, like it’s reflexive, like he could say those words all day. “And, Rey, I care about you, too.” 

She meets his eyes, warm and brown. He’s smiling a little, hopeful. She’s unsure what to say: is she supposed to say she cares for him, too? That feels improper, like she’s overstepping her bounds and saying things she shouldn’t. But she does care for him, and she cares for Poe, too, Poe who is her husband and is injured in the next room. “I’m...I’m glad that we are friends,” she says finally. 

Finn smiles, and gets up from the table. As he clears the dishes and prepares a plate for Poe, she watches him, her heart pounding at the turmoil in her mind. Finn is kind, so kind, even after all he’s doubtlessly been through at Kylo’s hands. He gives and he gives and he gives, and he just cares  _ so much. _ He deserves better than watching his love be trapped in a sham of a marriage. Finn deserves to be with the one he loves, and Poe deserves someone to love him, even if it’s not her. Especially if it’s not her. 

She wants to cry. She decides to go to bed instead.

“Oh! Finn, where will you sleep?”

He shrugs. “The floor. I brought a blanket.”

“No! The floor is dirty and hard and--”

“Hey! I swept it today. Not dirty!” He throws her a quick grin. 

“But still hard.” 

“It’s fine!”

“It is not!”

He bangs a spoon against a pot, clanging. “Lalala! I can’t hear you!” 

She laughs, the sound spilling out, and grabs her own spoon, wielding it like a sword. “Ha! Fight me!”

Finn turns his own spoon on her, swinging toward her. She hits her spoon against it, knocking it aside. Each hit sends a beautiful clink ringing, mixed with their combined giggling and playful shouting. Rey drives Finn back, backing him into the counter, poking him in the chest with her spoon. 

And again, like brushing down cobwebs from the rafters, another foggy childhood memory reveals itself. Much like before, Rey remembers those fated and magical childhood tales. There were princes and princesses, yes, but there were also knights. The knights fought dragons and led battles and were gallant and daring, and always chivalrous.

Finn, in all his unyielding generosity and kindness, sweeping in to assist her and Poe when they need it, he holds the same courage and determination of those knights. No, he has no armour or sword, but he does have a spoon and a smile, and that’s enough for her.

She takes a step back, her smile softening into something more tender, when she hears applause.

“Very entertaining,” Poe laughs. He leans on the wall on his good side. “I hope you saved some dinner for me?”

“Of course!” Finn grabs a plate and starts dishing up food, so Rey turns to Poe and offers him her hand. 

He doesn’t need her help, but he takes her hand anyway, and lets her guide him to the table. Finn sets down his plate, and Rey and Finn join him at the table. And it’s the three of them, together, and BB barges under the table to rest her chin on Poe’s knees to beg for scraps, and it feels a little like family.

~

Finn ends up sleeping on a pallet on the floor made of every spare blanket Poe and Rey can find. Neither of them are particularly happy about it, but at least he’s not directly on the floor or in the barn. Every day, Finn wakes up before both of them and cooks breakfast, and Rey dresses in her new, practical clothes, and does every ranch chore she can. Finn takes care of the house and the chickens, and Rey takes care of the horses and the cattle and the garden, and Poe sits inside and complains at his own uselessness. Eventually, Rey gives him his whittling knife, and he, with awkward care, attempts to whittle wrong-handed. His creations aren’t great, but he also doesn’t cut himself, and really, that’s all they can ask of him.

It goes like this for a week before Leia comes to visit. 

She rides up on a pretty painted mare, trotting up to the barn with grace and authority, just as Rey is stabling Falcon for the night. Leia dismounts, and leads her mare into the barn.

“Mrs. Leia,” Rey falters, unsure. 

“Rey,” she says, gently, “It’s good to see you. Would you mind if my mare stayed with your horses?”

“No, that’s...that should be fine.” 

The short woman clicks at the paint, and she follows into the corral with Falcon and Black Beauty and Finn’s old gelding. 

“Have you...have you come for dinner?” Rey falters. “That is, we’d love to have you.” They begin walking to the house.

She smiles, close-lipped, wrinkles spreading around her eyes. “Of course. I came to check on Poe. He’s gotten himself in trouble again.”

“It wasn’t his fault--”

“I know, but that’s not always true. He’s a rascal, that one.” 

Rey smiles, thinking of the way Poe grins when he’s galloping fast, or when he’s teasing her over card games. 

“I bet you’ve had the worst time keeping him resting.”

“He’s been so stubborn. But he’s had Finn to keep him company.”

Perhaps she catches the note of sadness that creeps into Rey’s voice, because Leia looks at her sideways, but says nothing. 

Inside, Poe sits at the kitchen table, peeling a potato. Finn, meanwhile, is at the stovetop with a skillet and spatula. 

“I brought a surprise,” Rey says, and the boys break into smiles and welcoming cries at the sight. 

Finn hurries around the table, hugging her tightly. Poe stands, sweeping his hand over his curls as though checking for a hat. 

“Well, you’ve gone and gotten yourself in trouble again.”

“I didn’t get myself in trouble, it was the horse!”

“A true horsemaster would know how to calm his horse. Or perhaps to not take him into a storm.” She levels him with a stare, and he dips his head.

“Yes ma’am.” 

“I am glad you’re alright, Poe.” She pats his good arm and takes a seat at the table. “Finn? What are we having for dinner?”

“I wish it was something fancy, but it’s just roast beef, beans, and potatoes.”

“A fine cowboy meal. I’m sure it will be delicious.” Leia crosses her arms on the table in front of her, focusing on Poe. “So. How’s the ranch faring?” They launch into a conversation about money and numbers and breaking even. Rey tunes them out. She understands the hands and feet work, boots on the ground, but the finer points of administration bore her. 

Instead, she joins Finn, carving the roast and dishing up beans. 

When they all sit at the table, it’s a tight squeeze. Rey pulls over an extra chair from the living room, and Finn dishes them up steaming plates of hot grub, and they tuck in.

“Have you heard from Lando?” Finn asks Leia.

“The last I heard, he’d found gold in California. Struck it rich, and is now the mayor of a small town.”

“That’s...impressive.”

“I told him not to forget from whence he came.” Leia says this with a conspiratorial smile.

“Who’s Lando?” Rey asks timidly.

“Lando used to run the general store,” Finn supplies. 

“And a dear friend,” Leia adds. 

“He was--the closest thing I ever had to a father,” Finn adds softly. “Jannah misses him a lot.” 

Leia sighs. “He has a lot of scoundrel in him, but he has a good heart. Write to him, I bet he’ll write back. Might even come visit.”

“What about Han?” Poe breaks in, something brittle in his voice.

Leia’s smile slips away, replaced by a sad tilt. “He’s still looking for adventure. Lando said he was doing some traveling trade. If I know him--and I do--he’ll be running around with Chewie like an outlaw, in some kind of hot water.”

Rey watches her as she says this, the way her eyes go wistful and sad, how her voice softens and loses it’s regal edge. Suddenly, she looks directly back at Rey. 

“When we were young and newly married, he used to sweep me off on adventures for weeks at a time, taking the train to the newest hottest place in town. He won poker game after poker game, just to take me somewhere new,” she leans forward, twisting her mouth up and to the side like she’s sharing a secret. “New husbands always want to show their wives all the most exciting things.”

Rey immediately understands she’s not just talking about taking trips. She feels heat in her cheeks, and wants to duck under the table.

Poe sees it too, and smacks Leia on the arm. “Stop!”

She leans back, looking prim. “Well. I’m right, am I not?”

Poe’s blushing now, too, looking down at his plate and pushing the last few beans around with the tip of his fork. 

“I’m sure you are,” says Finn, and they all snap their gazes to him. “I mean…” he sets down his fork and straightens it by the plate, then picks it back up. “I guess.” He coughs. “Would anyone like coffee?”

They all scramble to agree, and Rey sweeps in and picks up their empty plates. Leia pulls out a pipe, much to Rey’s surprise, and they have a game of poker, which Leia wins handily. Her expression is perfectly schooled the whole time. Rey is in awe.

She takes her leave of them, promising she’ll get home safe. Her ranch is on the other side of town, a good two hour’s ride, but her paint knows the way, and were anything to happen, she has her pistols.

Poe still falters at the door. “I just--I worry about you. About Kylo.”

Leia stiffens. “Should he trouble me, I think I will know what to do,” she says icily.

Poe raises his hands in the air, backing away. “Yes ma’am.” 

When the sound of hooves fades away, Poe yawns, leaning on the doorframe. “I’m turning in. Rey?”

“Soon,” she promises, settling by the fire. 

Poe nods, looking sleepy and soft, and disappears into the bedroom. 

Finn joins Rey, taking up a sock and getting knitting needles ready. “Are you alright, Rey?”

“I--” she stops. How do you explain to your husband’s love that he won’t touch you? How do you explain to the man your husband loves that you love your husband but your husband loves him and everything is awful? “Finn, I--”

He lowers the sock. “Rey. You can tell me anything.”

“I love him,” she manages, in a choked undertone. She swallows, hard. “And he doesn’t even kiss me.”

Finn looks--he looks sad; not vindictive or joyful or satisfied. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s--it’s fine, really, he--he loves…” she stops, unsure. “I think he loves someone else.”

“But he married you.” Now he just seems confused.

“It’s not even a marriage! It’s just an arrangement because he needed a ranch hand! And I guess he got what he wanted!” She keeps her voice low, but a quiver sneaks into her voice regardless. This hurts and it’s all wrong and she shouldn’t be talking about this to Finn, of all people.

Finn sighs, deeply. “We were-- _ all  _ surprised that he got married like he did.” He says  _ all _ , and Rey assumes he means Jess and their friends, but she has a feeling he means himself. “Poe is incapable of caring in half measures. He--he  _ loves,  _ very deeply.” 

He’s hunched, now, over the sock, like he’s shielding his chest from getting hurt. She wants to reach for him, take away his very obvious pain, but there’s nothing she can do but listen.

“We thought he’d--fall in love, get married to  _ someone-- _ ” His breath is slow, shaky. “He does care for you. I can see it on his face when he looks at you.” 

_ You would know, _ Rey thinks,  _ You would know what care looks like on his face.  _

“I don’t know why he doesn’t tell you so.” Finn sounds exhausted. He sounds like he’s said this before.

“It’s okay,” Rey mumbles. “You don’t have to know.”

“I wish I did,” Finn croaks, and Rey knows he’s not talking about her at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Hope you're still liking it xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay. I lost my job due to Covid, and in the ensuing chaos of my life, I didn't have the time or emotional energy to write. Deepest apologies. I hope to return to a regular posting schedule soon. I hope this jedistormpilot fluff makes up for it.

When Rey wakes, she finds herself curled against Poe’s side. She keeps her breathing even, hoping she can rise without disturbing him. HIs arm is under her, and she is tucked into the hollow of his arm and side. 

For a moment, she savers this; the closeness, the security. Poe’s heart beats steadily, and she listens to the rhythm, seizing the rare moment of intimacy and calm. 

Outside, the rooster crows, a distorted scream, and the moment is broken. Slowly, she rolls away from him, carefully so as not to jostle and wake him. 

“Don’t,” he mumbles. 

She looks at him, finding his golden eyes fixed on her.

“Stay. Just--a moment more.” 

Confused, she stills. “But--the chores--”

“The chores will wait.” He circles her wrist loosely with two fingers, letting her know she can leave if she wants, but does not have to. 

Slowly, she lowers herself back to the bed, resuming her position against his side. Through her nightdress, she can feel his chest, warm against her, expanding with his breathing. The arm under her bends to cradle her head, stroking her hair. He twists a few tendrils around his finger, not tugging, just feeling. 

Rey fights to keep her body still, feeling like each touch is setting her alight. This can’t be real. She’s still dreaming. If she moves or blinks or makes too much noise, she’ll wake and this will dissolve.

Yet, sure as sure, Poe runs his hand over her head again. “Your hair is soft,” he mumbles. “Don’t think I see it like this much.”

“Like what?”

“Loose. Free. Pretty like this.”

“...Do you want me to change it?”

“I want you to wear it how you like it.”

“Oh.” She tips her head up to him. “I’ll do whatever you ask. I’m--I’m your wife.” Her mouth shrivels on the word. 

He stares at her for a long moment, unblinking. “I won’t ask anything you don’t offer. I--I want you to be happy.” Poe must see her expression change, because he adds, “Are you? Happy, Rey. Are you happy?”

Rey pushes away slowly. “I--I think--”

The door creaks. Finn pushes his way in, holding a tray. “Good morning, friends--” He stops, looking from one to the other of them. “Did I interrupt something? I should have knocked.” He hastily retreats. “I’ll just come back, so sorry--”

“Wait, Finn!” Rey scrambles out of bed to open the door. “Please come in. We’d be happy for you to join us.”

Finn gazes at her for a long moment, long enough that she wants to cover herself. She is still in her nightdress, after all. He swallows. “I have breakfast,” he says, and holds up the tray. 

So they return to the bed and Finn sets the tray down in the middle of the three of them, with him sitting on the end of the bed and Poe at the head, with Rey between them to the side. It’s a good breakfast, even if Finn seems unable to look either of them in the eye.

“I’m feeling incredible today,” Poe says brightly. “I’d like to get up and do something!” 

“If you’re feeling up for it, you could ride with me to the pasture,” Rey says. “See how I’ve been doing with your cows.”

Poe agrees, and rises to get dressed, as does Rey. Finn picks up their dishes and tray, quietly leaving the room. However, Rey doesn’t miss the sadness creasing his features before he goes. 

She saddles up their horses, doing all the heavy lifting, her hands swift and certain. She leads the horses to the yard where Poe is waiting. Poe swings into the saddle, grunting when he lands.

“Alright?” 

“Yes, just...jarring.” 

Rey swings into her own saddle, and they start at a slow trot to the pasture. She left the cows inside the fence after the accident, thinking perhaps Poe would want them that way, to deter Kylo Ren from stealing any. 

When they reach the fenced pasture, Poe frowns deeply.

“What is it?”

“Nothing, I--” he runs his gaze over the cattle. “They look well.”

“Well-fed and healthy. I even managed to round up those that ran away.”

“Good,” Poe grunts, but it feels like an insult.

“The garden is well, too,” Rey hastens to add. “Tomatoes and peppers and potatoes. And the chickens.” She bites her lip.

“Good.” Poe wheels on Black Beauty and trots back to the ranch. 

Rey follows, silent and afraid. What had she done to anger him? She keeps several paces behind him, to avoid whatever punishment will rise from his anger.

By the time she reaches the ranch, Poe has dismounted, but left Black saddled in the barn. Deliberately taking her time, Rey unsaddles and curries both horses. She mucks the stalls and feeds the horses, and then gives the barn a pointless sweeping. 

In the back corner, her broom hits something solid. Curious, she stoops to examine the dust-covered object. It’s a coil of wire, dusty and stiff with disuse. It would be no good for fencing or sturdy work, now, it’s been sitting too long. She brushes her fingers over the wire, remembering how wire like this made up her primary job in the factory. She misses her mechanic days.

Well, maybe there’s no ranching use for it, but Rey can find something to do with it. She tucks it under her arm and heads to the house. 

As she approaches, she hears the low murmur of Finn and Poe talking. Holding her breath, she nears the door quietly. 

“It’s just--it was all done so well,” Poe says.

“Yes,” Finn agrees.

“And she’s a master horseman, too. What am I going to do, Finn?”

“You could try talking to her about it.”

“I hate it! I just hate it!” 

Rey screws her eyes closed and backs away. He hates her. That’s final. She approaches again, this time coughing and stomping loudly. “I’m going to do laundry!” she yells, tramping through the house. Before either man can stop her, she grabs the sack of dirty clothes and hurries out of the house. 

At the creek, she drops the bag of clothing and drops to the flat rock on the bank of the creek. There’s no point wasting time on tears, but she buries her face in her hands anyway, just long enough to collect herself. She dangles her feet in the water, watching as small fish and water bugs flee from the ripples she creates. This part of the creek is the deepest, shadowed by a few trees, and the greenest living things Rey has seen out here. The water flows by, off a rock ledge to form a small waterfall into the pool in front of her. 

Suddenly BB is beside her, pressing a wet snout to her neck and wagging her tail. Rey reaches up to scratch behind her ears. “At least you still love me,” she sighs. 

Best get on with work. That’s all there is to do. 

She dumps their clothes in the creek, scrubbing at them with soap and the washing board. She hangs them on branches of trees to dry. When the last article of clothing is done, she strips off her own clothes, leaving her underthings, and washes them too. 

“What the hell,” Rey says to BB, and jumps into the water. The cool water of the creek provides a sharp contrast to the heat of the day, soothing her skin and refreshing her mind. She paddles about in the cool shadows, wiggling her toes and letting the water wash away her worries and her grime.

On the bank BB barks.

“Come on, girl! Come here!”

Tail wagging, BB complies, vaulting off the bank to land in the water with a splash. Together they paddle about, until they are interrupted.

“You look like you’re having a good time.”

Gasping, Rey hurries to cover herself, tugging at her undershirt and checking that her pantalettes are still securely tied. Poe is on the bank, hands in his pockets. 

“Mind if I join you?”

“I…” She swallows. “Sure.” 

Poe strips off his shirt, and begins to undo his belt when Rey averts her eyes. The next thing she knows, Poe leaps off the bank and splashes into the creek. 

“Cold!” he gasps. His feet just touch the creekbed, though Rey has to paddle to stay afloat. 

_ Why is he here?  _ she wonders,  _ if he hates me so much, why won’t he leave me alone? _

Poe splashes her, a small wave of water that cascades over her. She sputters, mock-offended, before splashing him back. He grins and makes a dive for her that she evades, and she kicks in the water to push herself away from him. In the dappled sunlight, they prance through the cool water, with BB barking happily between them. 

“Ok, enough,” Poe manages, and paddles to the bank to climb onto the flat rock. He massages his shoulder a little, sitting up and keeping his feet in the water. 

Slowly, Rey moves to follow him, stretching out on her own patch of sun-warmed rock to let the heat dry her clothes. 

For a moment, the only sound is the buzzing of cicadas in the distance, and the lapping of the water against the bank.

“You’ve done well, Rey,” Poe mumbles finally.

Rey fixes her gaze on him, just to make sure she heard him correctly. 

“Took good care of my ranch. I’ve worked hard to build it--it’s nice to have someone else who cares as much as I do.”

“Of...course.”

“It used to be just me and BB and a few cows,” he chuckles, looking down at his feet in the creek. “Now we’ve got you.  _ I’ve _ got you.”

“I...am just doing my best.” 

“I’m really glad you’re here.” 

Her mind a mess, Rey says nothing. 

“Sooo...are y’all ever going to come eat?” Behind them, Finn stands with his hands on his hips. 

“Oh--we--” Rey hurries to snatch for her clothes, hanging over the limb of a tree. 

Poe stands, making wet footprints on the rock. “Oh yes,” he grins. “In a moment.” With that, he shoves Finn into the creek, clothes and all. 

He comes up a moment later, spitting and laughing, splashing at Poe on the bank. Rey takes the opportunity to dress in her shirt and jeans. BB barks at the men, tail wagging, and Finn climbs out of the creek. He shakes his head to spray water droplets everywhere, and unbuttons his shirt to wring it out. 

Rey catches a glimpse of round, soft tummy, and resolutely fixes her eyes on the clean clothes in front of her, now dried and sun-warm. 

The trio walk back to the house together, Finn still dripping. Rey watches the way Finn smiles at Poe, then turns away, bashful. The next time she looks, Finn is smiling at her, and she finds herself unable to resist the smile of her own, that spreads slowly across her face like it was meant to be there from the beginning of time. 

Inside the house, they find a hot meal, and share it between them, still smiling. Rey aches a bit inside, at this charade they play, where all of them are happy and have nothing to hide. It’s simply too good to be true. There’s no way all three of them could be this happy and have it still be real. 

That evening, Rey takes the coil of wire she tossed in the bedroom earlier, and turns it in her hands. Maybe there is something she can do with this. She unwinds a length, bending it experimentally in her hands. Yes, this will do quite well. This dusty length of wire now has a purpose, and she smiles to herself at the thought. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy May the Fourth! 
> 
> Thanks for all your support and kind words on my last update. I really appreciate it. That said, I still don't have a job. This might be the last update for a while, but don't worry, I will finish!
> 
> Also, this is my favorite chapter.

“So,” Finn says, setting down bags of groceries, “Snap and Kare Wexley are having a barn raising.” 

“When?” Poe asks. Rey can practically see the gears turning in his head; he’s planning something, she’s sure of it.

“End of this week, Friday and Saturday.”

“We’re going, of course.”

“Naturally. I just wanted to bring the news.”

“What’s a barn raising?” Rey asks. 

“We’ll all go and help Snap build his barn. He’ll already have the frame built, we’ll just assemble and finish it,” Poe explains. 

“But it’s more like a party,” Finn adds. “Once the barn is done, we’ll all dance and celebrate. It’s an excuse to eat food and dress up.”

“Ah. And what is...my place in all this?”

“Well, usually the women cook and stay out of the way. But since it’s you, Rey…” Poe says, “I don’t think anyone would say no to another pair of hands.” 

“I’ll make food. And help raise the barn,” Finn says. 

Like that, it’s settled. They return to their work. With Poe up and moving for the past few days, Rey’s role on the ranch shifts yet again. Finn takes charge of the cooking and cleaning, and Rey cares for the garden and animals and tools. She’s taken it upon herself to clean and repair any or all of Poe’s tools. Thus far, it’s keeping her satisfied and busy.

She remembers first looking at the ad, way back in the city. She’d imagined life out here to be greener, cleaner, and more free. She’d pictured herself on a vibrant hill, with the wind blowing her skirt and hair. Instead, she’s kneeling in the dirt, yanking weeds out of the garden; she’s standing in the dust, currying horses. 

She decides she likes this reality better than her fiction. After all, her fiction didn’t have Poe. Or Finn.

The end of the week arrives, and Finn, Poe, and Rey load into Finn’s wagon to drive out to the Wexley ranch. Poe drives, and Finn sits on the other side. At first, Rey climbs into the back, but Finn reaches his hand out to her.

“No ma’am, you sit up here with us.”

“But--” Rey begins, and he shakes his head.

“C’mon,” he coaxes, and bends down to pull her into the seat. 

Rey takes his hand, and springs into the seat, half-falling into Finn’s lap, laughing at her own clumsiness. Finn laughs too, and he helps her squeeze into the space between them on the bench, and there, squished and warm, she grins as Poe chirps at the horses.

Poe fills Rey in on the Wexley’s: they married a year ago, and are getting their start as farmers, mostly growing wheat. Wheat is quickly becoming one of the most lucrative crops on the market, and Snap hopes to capitalize on it’s growth.

Finn sighs. “While their economic efforts are certainly entertaining, what’s more entertaining is their actual story. Kare’s daddy didn’t like Snap too much.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, he thought he was too poor for his daughter, and refused to let them marry. But in the end, love triumphs after all.”

“What changed his mind?”

“Snap worked for a long time to prove his worth,” Finn says, at the same time Poe says, “Han Solo.”

Rey turns her head from side to side, looking from one man to the other. 

“Well,” Poe concedes, “Snap did prove his worth. But when Han came through, he had a few words with Mr. Kun about no-good penniless boys faithfully loving powerful women.” 

“Indeed,” Finn says softly.

“How often does Han come to visit?”

Poe shrugs, “Whenever he feels like it.”

Finn shakes his head. “Whenever he misses Leia too much.”

“You’re a romantic,” Poe says over Rey’s head.

“And you’re not romantic enough.”

There is a pause, wherein the only sounds are the clopping of the horse’s feet. 

“Maybe so,” Poe says finally, almost tender. “What do you think, Rey?”

Her heart thuds. “I think…” What  _ does _ she think? What can she say? “I think you could be a little more romantic more often.”

“You heard her!” Finn shouts, gleeful, “Your wife says you should be romantic more often!”

Poe keeps looking straight ahead, at the road, but he moves his arm out and over Rey’s head to put his arm around her back, and rest his knuckles against Finn’s shoulder.

~

At the Wexley’s farm, many townsmen roam around the frame, which is already assembled in skeleton boxes, laying flat on the ground. Some are attaching ropes to the corners, and others are simply watching, arms crossed over their chests. Some of the foundation is already up, sticking high into the sky.

Near the farmhouse, a group of women mill about with casserole dishes and hot pads, cheerfully chattering away. Rey spots Rose among them, swirling in a voluptuous yellow skirt. 

The three of them disembark, Finn bringing his own offerings to the potluck table. 

When the work begins, Snap acts as foreman, assigning them all different ropes and jobs. At his command, they pull the frame upright, and those designated scurry to bolt the pieces together. Rey pulls right alongside everyone else, as does Jannah. They throw their backs into the work, until the frame is fully assembled. Then they start on the siding, three people lifting a board onto the frame and others nailing it in. It’s a long process, but no one complains or does less than his share. 

As she holds a board against the side, she spots Hux, her traveling companion, on the ladder, preparing to nail in the siding. From his demeanor most of the time, she wouldn’t expect him here, yet he leans on the ladder, collar loose, hat gone, and sweat beading his temples. 

She’s so surprised, she almost misses how he leans too far off the ladder, and starts to tip.

One leg lifts off the uneven ground, and his eyes go wide as the ladder tips. Without thinking, Rey drops her part of the siding and leaps for the ladder, pulling it steady and holding it firm. 

Hux, clinging to the sides and top rung, keeps his eyes screwed shut for a moment, before peering down at her. 

“Are you alright?”

“It’s not any of your business how I am,” he snaps. “Anyway, you dropped the siding. Now we must redo it.” His piercing pale gaze returns to the barn, as though nothing had occurred.

Rey winces and turns away. The rest of the workers around her slowly return to the rhythm of the work, pretending nothing happened. 

At the dinner break, Finn snags her elbow. “That was a very kind thing you did.”

“He didn’t care for it.” 

“No, but you did it anyway.”

“What?” Poe asks, joining their conference.

“Rey’s a proper hero. Rescued a man falling off his ladder.”

Poe grins, and pats Rey’s shoulder affectionately. “Proper hero! Do you know what proper heros need? Food!” And they hurry to fill their plates with the best fare the cooks have to offer.

They eat sitting on the ground, balancing tin plates on their knees and humming at the hearty fare. Rose comes to join them, sinking down in a pillow of skirts, her dimples flashing. 

“How goes the work?”

The trio hums and nods, offering general positive mumbles.

“Will you come for the dance tomorrow?”

Again, they hum and nod, and Rey adds, “Will it be in the new barn?”

“Yes! They’ll be a caller and everything!”

Rey bites her lip as she smiles. “I’ve never been to a dance before.”

Rose’s face lights up, and she claps her hands together. “This will be the most wonderful occasion! Have you a dress to wear?”

Rey shrugs. “Just the dress I usually wear.”

Rose looks scandalized, and turns to Poe. “Poe Dameron! Haven’t you any sense! Buy your wife a pretty dress!”

Poe flushes and looks away, mumbling something that sounds a lot like, “She always looks pretty,” but Rey decides she misheard.

“Don’t worry, you can borrow one of mine,” Rose promises. “And Finn, I expect you on the floor all night!”

“Yes ma’am,” Finn promises. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

Rose leaves with a sweeping of skirts. 

“I always love the dances,” Finn says. 

“As do I,” Poe admits. 

“Will you teach me to dance?” Rey asks. 

In unison, they say, “Yes.”

~

The second day of the barn raising sees Rey balancing on the slope of the roof, nailing on clapboard with everyone else. The sun pours down, hot and insistent, but the folks on the ground keep them well supplied with sweating pitchers of cold water and lemonade. By the time the sun starts rolling to the low part of the sky, the roof is on and the barn is complete.

Naturally, it’s time to party.

Rey finds herself whisked away by Rose, who pulls her into the Wexley’s house, tugging her into the bedroom.

“Aren’t we being rude?” Rey asks, glancing at the quilted bed, and feeling like she’s caught someone in their underclothes.

“No, Kare won’t mind. We’ve all been in and out all day.” Rose pulls, seemingly from nowhere, a huge heap of fabric and a hoop skirt, separate from the dress. “Put these on.” 

For a moment, Rey hesitates, before complying, unbuttoning her shirt and slipping out of her jeans. Rose ties the hoop skirt around her and helps her put on the dress over her head, tugging it down over the hoop and smoothing out all the tucks and wrinkles. 

“This was my sister’s,” Rose murmurs, fussing with buttons and ties. 

“Thank you for letting me borrow it,” Rey says, sensing there’s a story here.

Rose finishes, stepping back. “There. You look lovely.” She fetches a hand mirror from the dresser, and tilts it so Rey can see her reflection from the ground up.

The dress is light blue, accentuating the curves in Rey’s figure, falling over the hoop gracefully. There are tiny seed pearl buttons down the middle, and a touch of lace at the collar and the cuffs. It is delicate, Rey thinks, and not something she would ever choose to wear normally. But for tonight--for a party--just for fun--yes, she’d enjoy this. 

“I like it,” Rey ventures. “Thank you.” She smiles, smoothing down the front of the skirt.

Rose surveys her work critically. “Hmm. Hold on.” She bustles out the door, returning only moments later with Jannah.

Jannah, too, surveys Rey, almost smiling. “You look wonderful, love, but would you mind us doing you up a bit more?”

Bewildered, Rey only nods, and they herd her to the edge of the bed to sit. Out of nowhere appears makeup and a hairbrush, and they set to work. 

“You have to understand--you’ve a beautiful girl no matter what you’re wearing--” Rose smudges rouge on Rey’s cheek, “--but sometimes it’s nice to look more than beautiful.”

“Stunning,” Jannah adds, pinning back a section of hair.

“Beautiful as the stars in the sky,” Rose says, but she’s looking at Jannah, not at Rey.

Rey rolls her eyes. 

Jannah keeps pinning, and Rose keeps smudging and brushing, and when they are satisfied, they hold up the mirror again. Rey blinks at her reflection. It’s...her face, but not. Her cheekbones are defined, her eyes look larger, the shape of her face is softened by the way her hair is pinned back in loose, soft waves. 

“Do you like it?” Rose asks, quiet.

Rey thinks on that. On a normal day, no, not when she’s working and in the dust and heat, but. For this? “Yes.” She stands, holding her chin high and keeping her shoulders back, feeling ready to take the dance by storm. 

The three of them return to the party, giggling and swishing in their skirts. Outside, the new barn has been transformed. Lanterns have been hung on the beams and supports, lighting the whole barn. Tables filled with food, desserts, and drinks are nearby. People mill about, talking and laughing. On an overturned bucket, a short woman sits to tune her fiddle. 

Rey scans the crowd for Poe and Finn. Her husband and her friend. They’ll probably be together, she guesses. She spots Aurthur and Cedric, looking well-groomed and sleek. She sees the Wexley’s, and the fond way Kare tips her head to Snap’s shoulder. She sees Leia, still clad in jeans, leaning against a barn beam by the fiddler, drinking a beer. And, Hux is there, lurking by the dessert table, looking sulky and arrogant.

And then she spots them, her boys, chatting with Jess Pava in the glow of the setting sun and the light of the lanterns. She lets go of Jannah and Rose’s elbows, her feet swift and her heart pounding, excited for reasons she doesn’t care to pursue. 

Just before reaching them, she stops. What if they don’t like the way she looks? What if she’s interrupting? What if--

Poe sees her first, straightening his posture and clearing his throat. He removes his hat, messy curls falling over his forehead. “Ma’am,” he says. 

“Hi.”

Finn turns, too, and his smile is warm and wide, his eyes soft. “You look…” he glances from Poe to Rey, “My dear, you look enchanting.” 

“Like a princess,” Poe adds, looking a little lost.

“Thank you,” Rey breathes, and she hopes that all the stars in the big Texas sky have fallen to make their home in her eyes. 

If she could stay right here, in this moment, just her and the boys and this feathery, delicate happiness, she would be content with herself and the world. 

The moment is broken by someone shouting, “ _ Are y’all ready to dance?” _

Poe and Finn offer Rey their arms at the same time. They share a look, and Finn begins to lower his elbow, but Rey snatches it, and grabs Poe’s elbow too. “Both of you,” she says, and they make their way into the barn. 

In the barn, the short fiddler is standing on the overturned bucket, one hand cupped around her mouth.  _ “Get your partner and we’ll get started!” _

Rey leans over to Poe, on her left. “I don’t know how to dance.”

“Don’t worry, she’ll tell you everything. Just listen and keep the beat.”

Sure enough, the fiddler talks them through the dance. There’s a few basic things: they have to stand in a circle of eight people, alternating boy-girl, to form four partnered pairs. Poe and Rey partner, and Finn partners with Jannah. Completing their square are two couples Rey hasn’t met before, but they seem friendly enough. Through the dance, the girls will dance with both their partner, and the boy on their other side--their corner. 

Most of the people seem to get the hang of it fairly quickly, and soon they are all completing complicated maneuvers through the square. Rey’s heart is pounding and she’s sure her face is flushed, but the borrowed dress sways around her and she feels like a princess. Poe’s arm around her is warm and steady as they promenade, and every time she spins with her corner, Finn’s warm smile is ready to greet her. 

The flickering yellow light from the lanterns feels magical, and the cheerful, prancing sounds of the fiddle spur the dance on. Rey’s cheeks ache with the perpetual smile on her face, and her feet will not stop stepping in time. All is bright, and all is joy, and then--

The first scream comes from the far corner. Rey can’t see over the moving bodies, but she smells the smoke. With cries and screams, people race for the door. 

“Water! We have to get water!” Poe shouts. 

Rey stares in shock as flames lick at the new barn. 

Finn grabs her by the elbow and hurries her out of the barn, where a bucket brigade is already forming. 

Rey turns at a horse’s scream, spotting a horse hitched to a cart spook and rear up, pawing the air with giant hooves. It hits the ground and bolts, snapping the tethers, sending the cart tipping onto its side.

Chaos rules, sending women running to shelter their children and men to join the bucket brigade. 

Then, from the darkness, a rider on a black horse emerges. He wears a mask over his face, and behind him are other riders. They trample into the yard, scattering people. He says nothing, simply sits tall and watches the carnage. 

In an instant, Rey knows him. This is Kylo Ren. 

He turns his head slowly, scanning the havoc he wrecked. He stops when he spots Rey, his hands tightening minisculely on the reins. His horse walks forward, closing the distance between them until she can see his eyes in the mask he wears.

She stands her ground. “ _ You _ ,” Rey spits, hands in fists. 

He tips his hat to her, a graceful sweeping motion. “Rey,” he says, his voice a low, menacing growl. “Rey Dameron, I believe.”

She raises her chin. “That’s right. Why are you here?”

“I can go where I please.” 

“And yet you are welcome nowhere.” 

He tilts his head. “Come with me.”

She scoffs out a laugh. “Never.” 

He leans down, looming over her, dark and huge. “ _ Come with me,” _ he repeats. 

Suddenly Poe appears at her side, his hat gone. Sweat runs down his temples, but he places his arm firmly on Rey’s shoulder. “Get out of here, Ren. You’ve done enough for one night.”

Kylo straightens, his mask hiding his expression. “Dameron. You have a beautiful wife.” 

Poe’s hand tightens on Rey’s shoulder. “You know it’s kind of hard to understand you what with the--” Poe gestures to his own face, indicating the mask.

Ren twitches. 

“We all know who you are, Ren,” Poe continues. “This dress-up act doesn’t change anything.”

At this, Ren snarls and jerks the reigns. “I am Kylo Ren of the Night Ridgers, and this is not the least of our power. I will make it so you cannot sleep, cannot eat, cannot rest because of me. You will wear yourselves out trying to protect what you love from me, and in the end, I will burn it to the ground!” The horse snorts and bolts, Ren leaning over its neck. His riders follow, circling once around the yard and the smoking barn before vanishing into the night. 

Poe sighs, dropping his hand from Rey’s shoulder. 

Finn jogs up, soot smudging his white shirt and his suspenders askew. “Rey, are you alright?”

She nods, wrapping her arms around her torso.

“Poe?”

He nods, too. “Let’s clean this up, yeah?”

They trudge over to the huddled group of farmers, all checking each other and brushing one another off. The barn had been extinguished, with only some damage to one wall and a beam. Rose and Jannah were dusting each other off, exhaustion and worry on their faces. 

Leia steps out from the crowd. “No one’s hurt,” she says, clearly tired. “The barn can be repaired.”

“Good,” says Poe. “Is there any other damage?”

No one says anything, but Rey remembers-- “A cart!” She hurries away to the tipped cart, Poe and Finn trailing in her wake. 

The cart is on its side, one wheel still spinning slowly. The fiddler stands by mournfully, hands at her sides. Leia crosses to her, offering a comforting hand. 

Rey surveys the damage. The other wheel is intact, but detached from the cart, lying in the dirt a few feet away. Rey picks it up, setting it upright and peering at the cart. It’s missing a hubcap, and one spoke is snapped, but it will still hold. “I can fix this,” Rey says quietly. “Turn that upright,” she points to the cart, even as Finn and Poe are already moving.

They heave and push, and the cart finally tips upright, one corner on the ground and pressing into the dirt. 

Rey squats at the wheel, her hoop skirt bubbling around her and over her knees. The wheel will go back on the axle, but without a hubcap, it won’t stay attached. She runs her hands over the axle a few times, just feeling things out. “Does anyone have some wire? Or string?”

Finn, Poe and Leia all pat their pockets, frowning. The fiddler shakes her head. 

Frustrated, Rey grunts and slaps at the axle. 

“Wait!” Finn fumbles at his waist. “Will these work?” He unhooks his suspenders and passes them to Rey.

“I--” She thinks for a moment. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Anything you need.” He slides a glance at Poe. 

Rey returns to the wheel. “Lift this so I can put this on.”

Her friends leap into action, lifting together so she can slide the wheel onto the axle. With it secure, she loops and clips the suspenders through the spokes to attach them to the axle. When moving, it will spin but not slide off the axle, and the cart will work safely until it can be fixed properly. 

Rey stands, brushing off the front of her dress. “I hope that’s satisfactory,” she says.

The fiddler nods, offering her thanks. “What’s your name, child?”

“Rey, ma’am.”

She grasps Rey’s hand in both of her own, peering up through her large glasses. “There’s something special about you, Rey,” she says, “Don’t lose that. Take care of yourself.”

“Yes ma’am. May I have your name?”

“Maz. Maz Katana. If you ever need a friend, shout my way.”

“Yes ma’am.”

And so they go home, battered and tired and a bit worse for the wear. Rey rides between her two men, feeling safe between them. And she looks to the horizon, toward their ranch and thinks,  _ Yeah, home. I’m going home. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sheepishly appears from behind bushes* ...Hiiii. I'm so sorry this took so long. A little update: I have a job! I got a temporary job for the summer, and then I have a permanent job starting in August. :) thanks for all the well-wishes and kind words, they truly meant more than you know. It means so much to know that people I've never even met cared enough to wish me well. So, thank you all.
> 
> Also, Foxgrrl42 made a playlist! I'm blown away! Here it is: [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0q9wkd2C41qGmcuuEs6lrl?si=kvDAiWiCSHOByMKboNFsJg) | [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpvyfcenPU-JlGu2fMKANmkaTHe2RABSw) | An amazing [analysis](https://docs.google.com/document/d/19EFDfCdWg3Wl5Ar3649VOPT0aM1ROVulFNBRYt2gSrQ/edit) of each song on the list
> 
> This playlist is amazing and everyone should listen to it!!!!
> 
> And now, on to the story!

In the week that followed, Poe was able to return to work, and so Finn left them to move back into town. It was nothing special, no big send-off, just him smiling wistfully at the kitchen, saying a verbal goodbye, and throwing his bag over his shoulder to go. In his wake, Rey stands, feeling hollow, like she’s lost something vital. 

Poe just grunts, and heads outside to work. 

In his absence, the world is less interesting, the ranch is less fun, and Rey’s life feels off-kilter. She and Poe don’t seem to have a lot to say to one another. They just work. 

She had hoped that something would happen--she hadn’t been wrong, had she, in thinking something was growing? That something was starting? Maybe it was all a sham, all made-up in her head. 

She’s angrily sweeping the bedroom, kicking up small puffs of dust and sending BB’s hairballs tumbling across the floor, when her broom hits something under the bed. She pulls it out, more annoyed than curious. It’s a simple wooden box, nothing fancy. There’s no latch.

She opens it. Inside, are stacks of papers, folded neatly. Bills? Keys to Poe’s past? Now concerned, Rey picks up the top piece of paper. The creases are easy from being opened repeatedly, the ink faded. She recognizes her own handwriting, and her stomach drops when she realizes what she’s holding. 

These are her letters, the ones she wrote him before they were wed, when they were planning her move and their wedding. He’s saved them, all this time, and obviously reread them. 

What must they mean to him, if he’s kept them all this time? 

What must she mean to him, if he’s been scouring these pages in search of...what?

She pats at the wire in her pocket, feeling the curves of it through the fabric, mentally imagining the shape it will take.

The front door opens. Rey slams the box shut and slides it under the bed before Poe can see. By the time he peeks in, she’s innocently sweeping out dusty corners. Her mind, however, is busy with plans of how to explain to Poe that she wants this marriage, too; that she feels for him, too; that maybe things will work out for them after all.

But for that to happen, she’ll need Finn.

~

She stands outside the general store, trying to quell her beating heart. Finn is within; it’s as simple as that. All she has to do is go in. 

Instead, she takes another steadying breath and wipes her hands down her jeans. She doesn’t know why she’s nervous. After all, it’s just Finn. Her and her husband’s best friend. Who lived with them for nearly a month. It’s fine. 

With a final shaky exhalation, she enters the store. Jannah is at the counter, perking up as Rey walks in. “Howdy! How’re you, Rey?”

“How--howdy,” Rey stammers. “I--I need Finn.”

Jannah raises a brow.

“Wait, I mean--I need to talk to Finn. Please.”

“You can go on back.” She jerks her thumb toward the curtain at the back of the store. 

The steps to cross to the curtain take an eternity. And yet it is sudden when she is faced with the tattered curtain, and watches as her hand pushes it aside. “Finn?”

In the dim room, she sees a bed and a bookshelf. As her eyes adjust, she spots a desk, and a ladder leading up to what she assumes is a loft. 

“Rey?” Finn is at the desk, reading by the light from the window. “It’s so good to see you!” His face splits into a wide grin, and he stands, extending his arms to her. 

She lets him hug her, his strong arms wrapping her tightly, pressing her chest to his. 

“I know it hasn’t been long, but I’ve missed you.”

“I...I missed you too.”

“So, what brings this on?”

“I need your help.” She pushes the words out in a rush.

His expression turns to concern. “Of course. Anything you need.”

“I--” she doesn’t quite know how to articulate what she needs. “I want to...I want to do something nice for Poe. So that he’ll...appreciate it.”

Finn cocks his head. “What do you mean?”

She flushes, looking away. “It’s just...he never…looks at me as a husband does a wife, and--”

“Ah.” Finn looks--well, he looks sad, but he is nodding. “Stupid stubborn man with too much honor and not enough sense.”

Rey chuckles tightly. “That’s Poe.” 

“Right. What did you have in mind?” His brow is furrowed, and she can practically see the gears turning in his mind.

“I...food, maybe? He...he likes when I cook, I think, but I don’t know very much, and I didn’t have much chance to learn in the city, mostly I scavenged for what I had and--” she’s rambling, she realizes, and cuts herself off.

Finn gazes at her, eyes soft and appraising. “I bet we can manage something.” He opens the curtain to usher her back to the main area of the store, to where the wood stove and rocking chairs are. “Do you have much experience with steak?” 

“Um. We eat beef with our beans?”

Finn chuckles. “I don’t mean chopped up and cooked. I mean cooked to perfection, tender and juicy...no?”

Rey slowly shakes her head. “Not like that.”

“Then that’s where we’ll start.” Finn begins puttering around the space, gathering supplies and laying them out on a table to the side of the oven. “Let’s start by tenderizing.”

So he shows her, and Rey mimics him, and she watches his sturdy hands dancing over the utensils like an artist, and she looks up to his face, and she wonders why Poe never told him the truth. 

“Rey?” she blinks; he’s asking her a question. 

“Sorry, what?”

“Sauteed asparagus?”

“...what’s asparagus?”

Finn laughs, warm and friendly, and pushes a small bundle of twig-like green plants at her.

“What is this?”

“Asparagus. It’s a vegetable.”

Rey selects one, peering at the cluster of feathery green bits on top. The stem is firm but pliant. It looks tasty, aside from the color. She bites it in half with a  _ crunch. _

Finn lets out a startled laugh. “I--I was going to cook them, but that works too.”

“Stringy,” Rey pronounces around the mush in her mouth, wrinkling her nose as her tongue darts through her teeth, smacking at the uncomfortable sensation.

“Yes, well, cooking takes care of that.” With traces of a smile still on his cheeks, Finn takes the bundle of green back and sets them by the stovetop. He shows Rey how to saut é them with butter and salt in a pan, and how tender and juicy they are at the end. He teaches her how to sear steak in an iron skillet warmed in the oven, sealing in the juices and keeping it sweet. This smokes up the store a bit, to a point where Jannah loudly announces she’s going down the street to Rose’s to “escape the fog.” 

Finn rolls his eyes.

Rey watches him masterfully handle the food, and then he turns to her. 

“Your turn. What would you add to this meal?”

“I...I know how to cook potatoes.” 

“Alright. I have some of those.” He ducks into his bedroom and returns with a double handful of red potatoes. 

“Yes. That’ll do.” She spreads the potatoes on the wooden cutting board and begins to halve and quarter them, scooping the bite-size chunks into a bowl. From there, she drizzles oil on them and adds pinches of spices--rosemary, like Poe grows in the garden; salt, like what goes on everything; pepper, for just a hint of spice. With a moment’s hesitation, she plunges her hands into the bowl and mixes the potatoes through the oil to coat them, getting them ready to be crisped in the oven. When they are coated, she pours them into a baking pan, and begins spreading them out into an even layer.

Finn steps up beside her, and his hands join her own. Their fingers brush against each other, gentle illicit contact. Rey bites her lower lip and swallows hard. Simple brushing of fingers shouldn’t make her feel this way. And she’s a  _ married woman! _

Finn’s hands stop moving. He takes her hands in his own, heedless of the oil and spices clinging to both of them. “Rey…”

She meets his eyes, and he’s searching her face, lips slightly parted. “I…”

“Rey, there’s something I need to tell you.” His expression goes focused, intense.

Her heart pounds in her ears.

Instead of saying anything at all, he leans in slowly, and she watches his approach, her heart pounding and thoughts scattering into a thousand flustered snatches-- _ Finn--love--kiss--hold me--want-- _

His lips brush her own, and with his voice nothing more than a husky growl, he asks, “Yes?”

“Yes,” she whispers back, and molds her mouth to his. 

There is no thought in her mind. For once there is nothing but absolute, blissful silence. His tongue flicks at her lower lip, just a small brush, and she opens her lips to him, exhaling over the trembling in her stomach. Finn moans, just a bitten-off whimper, and it is that sound that breaks her trance.

All at once, panicked thoughts tumble into her brain, crashing loudly like a broken piano.  _ Wrong, wrong, wrong, Finn, Poe! _

She stumbles back, hip colliding with the counter and knocking an empty bowl to the floor with a clatter. “I...I have to go!”

As she flees the store, legs pumping and tears pressing at her eyes, she only catches a fragment of Finn’s shout: “Wait, Rey!”

She leaps on Falcon and kicks her heels in hard. Falcon answers at her touch, muscles rippling in answer to her panic. Chest heaving, she tries to think where she can go. Certainly not to Poe, not after how she’s just betrayed him. And Finn is her closest friend, and Rose and Jannah will of course choose Poe and Finn over her--

Leia. Leia can help her. She flicks the reins and Falcon responds as though he’d already guessed their destination. 

She turns up on the doorstep, sweating, teary, and shaking. Leia takes a good hard look at her, eyes sweeping up and down. “Well, come in,” she says. “Dinner is just on the stove.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Were you expecting that? :P
> 
> Have a great day, and go listen to the playlist!!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed I've updated the chapter count. That's right folks, we are almost to the end! Thanks for sticking with me thus far!

Leia gives her a bed and hot water for a bath and doesn’t ask any questions, not until the next morning, when Rey shuffles into the kitchen, sheepish and shy. 

“Sit down,” Leia says, not unkindly, “and have some coffee.”

Rey gratefully wraps her hands around the mug proffered, but avoids Leia’s gaze. “Thank you,” she mumbles into the steam.

Leia shuffles through some papers on the table. Grunting to herself, she packs her pipe and puts away her tobacco. After she’s drawn a few puffs, she says, “Well, go on then. Tell me what happened.” 

“I…” Rey sets down the mug. It’d seemed so easy last night, pounding through the dust, to just turn up and assume Leia would help, but now in the light of day she is reminded of the cold, hard truth: Poe and Finn are like sons to Leia. Rey is just an outsider, an interloper, treading on unfamiliar ground. She’d banked on the kindness of others. 

The world has taught her better.

“I think I’d better go. This has been wonderful, thank you so much--” she stands, nearly knocking over her chair in her haste.

“Now just hold on a minute.” Leia stands, too, and her tone stops Rey cold. “Something is very wrong. Sit down, tell me what’s going on, and drink your coffee!”

Rey sits, hands shaking.

Leia takes a long puff on the pipe, blowing out smoke slowly. She settles back in her chair, and leans toward Rey. “I want to help you, Rey. No matter what’s going on.”

And at that, Rey bursts into tears. 

Leia waits her out, and when Rey collects herself, sniffling and apologizing, she looks at her with nothing but kindness in her eyes. 

“It’s just...I--I kissed Finn.” Her cheeks burn, ashamed. “But you see, Poe has never--never--” she bites her lip, unable to speak the words. “We are not truly husband and wife,” she says finally.

Leia’s brows raise, but she says nothing. 

“But I still love him. I--I love him, and he seems to hate the very sight of me.”

Leia’s hand covers one of Rey’s own. “Don’t be too hasty,” she says softly. “But go on.”

Rey looks at the wrinkled, callused hand covering her own long and nimble fingers. “And I feel something for Finn, too,” she mumbles. To love someone other than one’s husband is bad. Especially in her situation--what with both men involved with each other as well.

Leia leans back, chewing on the end of her pipe. A long moment passes, drifting by slowly on the breeze that passes through the open window and out the porch door. “Have you ever thought, Rey,” she fixes her wise, steady gaze on her face, “that maybe your heart is big enough for two people?”

Rey blinks, hands circling the coffee mug, barely processing, when the porch door swings further open and bangs against the wall. 

Silhouetted in the doorway is a man, wearing a wide-brimmed cowboy hat, sturdy boots, and spurs. He takes one step into the house, frowning at Rey. His beard is thick and shaggy, his skin weathered and tanned. He wears a grey poncho over his riding clothes. A gust of hot wind accompanies his entrance.

Alarmed, Rey lurches away from his sharp gaze. 

“Luke,” says Leia, unaffected, “this is Rey.”

Luke grunts, stepping around her to pour himself coffee.

“Rey, this is my brother, Luke.”

“Good morning,” Rey mumbles quietly. 

“Luke, I think Rey’s going to spend another night with us, but then she’d best be getting home. She has some unfinished business.” Leia inclines her head. “Does that sound alright to you, Rey?”

“Yes ma’am.” 

“It’s best not to let things be left undone. But I know you’re a good ranch hand, so would you mind helping Luke for the day?”

“Of course. I’d love to help.” Rey gets up from the table and follows Luke’s jerky nod out the door.

Luke keeps her busy all day, herding cattle and hauling feed. They’re preparing for the cattle drive, he tells her, in very few words, and the healthiest, fattest cows fetch the best price in Dallas or St. Louis or anywhere else. Next year, plates all across America will have beef on them because of ranchers like Leia’s. 

As the end of the day approaches, the shadows growing long, Luke puts their horses away and motions for Rey to follow him. Stopping several yards behind the corrals, he holds out a six shooter. 

“Do you know how to use this?”

Rey shakes her head.

Luke grunts, pulling another from his belt. He shakes the first at her, prompting her to take it. Without speaking, he loads the gun and cocks it. He grunts again and Rey mimics his actions with bullets he hands her. With a final grunt, he smoothly turns and points to a scrawny tree about thirty yards away. 

Rey steps back a bit as he takes careful aim. 

The bang shocks her and hurts her ears. From the tree, a single leaf flutters to the ground.

Rey lets out a breath as Luke relaxes and lowers the gun.

“Keep your shoulder loose. It will kick back.”

Rey swallows, taking aim. Her finger tightens on the trigger, and she has to squeeze it harder than she anticipated to fire. 

_ Bang _ .

The kickback rocks through her shoulder, sending her arm upward as numbness ripples through her wrist and forearm. 

She doesn’t see where the bullet goes, doesn’t hit the tree. She rubs her shoulder, avoiding Luke’s eyes.

“Try again,” he prompts. “And keep your eyes open this time.”

Stealing a quick glance at him, she can see a hint of a smile beneath all his layers of beard. 

So she fires again. And again. And again. Each shot gets better; she anticipates the kickback, the sound, and keeps her eyes open. 

When she is down to one bullet in her chamber, she takes intentional, slow aim, closing one eye. A wisp of hair blows across her face. 

The tree is out there, it’s twisted trunk waiting. She pulls the trigger.

Rey exhales, lowering the gun and tipping her chin back. 

The bullet is embedded in the trunk of the tree. 

“Good.” 

“Thank you.”

That’s all they say. It’s enough. 

Back at the house, Luke directs her to the boarding house, where there is a long dining table, lined by half a dozen other cattle hands. Leia takes the head of the table, Luke at her left. They leave an empty chair at the right of her. Leia’s hired cook has cooked a feast, and the exhausted and sweaty cattle punchers eat their weight and then some. 

They talk and laugh and act like a family, passing dishes and slapping backs and trading jokes. Rey is welcomed right in, no questions asked. 

Still, there is something in her that misses her quieter version of family, with only three around a table. She misses Poe. She misses Finn. 

After dinner, she thanks Leia for letting her use the guest room another night, but she’ll be going home in the morning. Leia smiles and pats her arm.

“I’m glad. I know they’ll be glad to see you.”

Rey flushes, but carries the reassurance with her to bed. 

She wakes in the middle of the night to the sounds of shouting and gunfire. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out that [playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpvyfcenPU-JlGu2fMKANmkaTHe2RABSw) I mentioned!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy this mess of me reveling in og trilogy feels
> 
> Sorry updates are taking so long I just can't seem to finish the last chapter :/

Sprinting outside, Rey strains to find Leia or Luke in the chaos. Men run everywhere, in various states of dress, shouting and calling. There is the sound of pounding horse’s hooves, as three men leap on horses and light out for the pasture. Rey darts back inside to jam her feet into her boots, and then she enters the fray.

With no lantern to guide her, she is left peering into the dark and struggling to understand. Someone shouts. Cattle bellow. Hooves pound

The meaning becomes clear enough, however, as a massive black horse emerges from the dark.

It rears in front of her, huge iron-shod hooves pawing the air. 

When it lands, Kylo Ren is looking at her.

She wishes for a quilt to wrap around her shoulders, some way to shield herself from his prying eyes. Her hair falls loose and wild around her shoulders, and she tips her chin up to meet his gaze. There will be no fear in her. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised to find you here,” he says. “Leia always did like lost causes.”

“The only lost cause here is you.”

Ren chuckles, low and dangerous. “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure. I look at you, Rey, and I see myself. There is darkness in you, just as there is in me.” He nudges his horse forward and begins to circle her. 

“I don’t see me terrorizing innocent people.”

“No. But you aren’t inclined to sit still and behave yourself, either.”

Rey spits, right between his horse’s hooves. 

Ren chuckles again. “Brave. Or foolish.” He snaps forward, reaching forward, but she leaps back from his touch.

“Get away from me.” 

He looms over her, monstrous and fiendish. His laugh fills the air, and it is not a pleasant sound. She wants to shrink from him, and perhaps, before, she would have. But tonight she straightens her spine and looks for his eyes, through the dark, through the mask. Let him see her anger. Let him see her courage. 

Kylo snarls, and her horse jerks forward as he lurches toward her. 

Rey scrambles away, tripping over her own feet. 

From the direction of the drive comes an unfamiliar shout. 

Kylo pulls his horse up short, and suddenly wheels and pounds away. 

Barreling into the yard is a man, bent low over the neck of his horse. He stands in his stirrups, moving fluidly with the rolling of the horse. Rey catches a glimpse of two pistols strapped to his waist, but both are holstered. 

As he approaches, Rey gets a good look at his face. His brows are pinched and his jaw clenched, but he doesn’t look angry. He looks...desperate. Sad.

He doesn’t seem to be chasing Kylo away, but rather, following. 

Rey watches him go, bewildered. 

Moments later, a covered wagon rolls into the yard, followed by a sleek-looking stallion and its rider. Rey slips into the shadows by the porch, watching the newcomers warily. 

The wagon driver pulls the wagon between the house and the boarding house, like he knows it can go there. He gets out of the wagon, and Rey can tell he is huge. He is tall, very tall, and bulky, not in a flabby way, but in a muscular way. And he’s hairy--his beard reaches nearly to his prominent girth. 

The rider on the stallion is sleeker, more refined. He sits tall on the horse, and scans the yard. His clothes are of a finer material than most people out here, and his hair is oiled and groomed. 

And he has spotted her.

He dismounts and crosses the yard--slowly, like one would a frightened animal. “Hey there,” he croons, again as through to a scared creature.

Rey has the sudden urge to hiss.

Instead, she straightens her spine, lifts her chin, and says, “Who are you and what is your business here?”

He saunters a step back, a smirk spreading on his mouth. “Well. I’m Lando, a friend of Leia’s. And who might you be?”

“I am Rey.”  _ Lando.  _ Where has she heard that name before?

“Rey. Like a ray of moonlight, come down to bless this earth.”

She rolls her eyes. “A friend?”  _ Lando, Lando, Lando… _

“Indeed. I used to live here. But then I headed west, struck it rich! I have many stories of my travels, if you’d like to hear them.”

“What, now?” She gestures with an arm toward the fields. 

“No, of course not! At some better, calmer time, where we can get to know each other better.” He winks. 

She pinches her lips together. “I have the feeling I know you.”

“Do you? Have you lived here long? I used to run the general store. Of course, I think I’d remember a face like yours…”

“Lando!” Rey shouts. “You’re Finn and Jannah’s father!”

Taken aback, he says, “Oh, well, I suppose so.”

“They’ll be so excited you’re here! I can’t wait to--” She stops, swallowing hard. Finn might not ever want to see her again, for all she knows. 

She is saved from her distress by the return of the man on the horse. He comes back slower, sweat running through the soaked hair under the brim of his hat. “I lost him,” he sighs. 

Behind him, Leia pulls up on her horse. She’s wearing jeans, but her shirt is buttoned wrong, and her grey hair is braided back from her face, instead of in its usual bun. When she sees the men in her front yard, she pulls up short. 

Lando jerks his head at the man.

“What?” 

Lando nods his head again, and this time, he gets the message.

The man turns, and sees Leia. 

They stare at each other for a moment, expressions softening, a thousand memories in their eyes. 

Finally, Leia says, “Same jacket.”

The man flicks his gaze to his leather jacket and back up. “No. New jacket.”

Leia shakes her head, a slow smile spreading.

And then Rey realizes. This must be Han, Leia’s husband. 

From the covered wagon comes the big, hairy man. He holds out a hand to Leia, and she dismounts like royalty. He pulls her into a deep embrace. 

A moment later, Luke joins their group. He looks tired, Rey notes, but his face brightens when he sees Han and Lando and the other man. 

Rey watches as they stand in a circle, a thousand stories and sorrows and loves written on their faces. There is friendship between them, the kind that doesn’t shake even after years apart. And now they stand here, reunited, and Rey sees it, and thinks of Poe and Finn. She thinks of how it would feel to stand with them, years down the road, and she adds Rose and Jannah to the circle, too. 

The things that could be. The things that  _ should be _ . 

The moment breaks when Luke says, “He took half our herd.”

Leia’s mouth tightens. “That many?”

“Half the cattle are gone. And he took the best of them, too.”

“Something needs to be done. Well, go inside everyone, there’s no use standing around. Go.” Leia shoos them past Rey. Finally, it is only Leia and Han standing outside in the pale light of the moon.

“I missed you,” he says finally, gruffly.

“Then come home,” she responds.

They reach for each other, the embrace of old lovers, and Rey slips inside and leaves them alone.

~

The next morning dawns to commotion. The company meets in the boarding house, around a table set with eggs, flatcakes, sausage, and bacon. Leia’s hired cowboys mill about, drinking their coffee. Lando and Chewie--the third visitor--sit near the head of the table. Leia is at her spot at the head, and Luke to the left of her. And the empty chair to the right--it is taken by Han. 

Rey joins them timidly, listening to their conversation. 

“Most of goldmining is a scam, you know,” Lando is saying, “But I got lucky. Hit it good and true boys, and it has served me well.”

“Ah, you’re just a schoomzer,” Han says, rolling his eyes. Chewie chuckles. 

“As though peddling fake wares does you any good!” Lando returns.

“I do alright for myself!” Han inflates his chest, offended.

Luke hides a smile.

“Boys, boys. Hush. Quit your dick measuring and let’s get busy.”

They hush and turn to her. “I’ve sent a couple men out to bring in a few others, people I trust. They should be here any minute now. When they get here, we need to discuss our plan of action.”

“That depends on what you want,” Lando says gently.

Leia’s spine straightens, her mouth thinning. 

Han sighs, closing his eyes. 

“I want him to come home,” Leia says, and there’s something hurting in her words. 

Rey leans to Lando. “What’s going on?” she whispers.

Lando looks at her briefly, his words guarded as he says, “Kylo Ren--he’s Leia and Han’s son.”

Rey sucks in a quick breath. That monster...is their son? Suddenly so many things made sense. Why Leia doesn’t just shoot him. The way he seems to haunt D’Quar. The pain in Leia’s face anytime someone says his name.

“Oh my god,” Rey mumbles. “I didn’t know.”

Lando nods solemnly. 

Over the hum of conversation, Leia says, “It looks like help has arrived.”

Rey turns--and there is Poe. And right beside him--Finn. 

Her heart drops to her toes. 

Poe looks at her, his brows crumpled in pain. Finn bites his lower lip--but his expression changes when he sees Lando. 

Rose and Jannah follow them into the room. Jannah, too, is excited to see Lando. 

But Rey only has eyes for Poe, and the hurt in his expression.

“Rey,” he croaks, “I missed you.” 

Leia claps her hands. “May I have your attention please? Thank you.”

The council of war has begun. 

~

As the meeting adjourns, Poe stands, wiping his hands on his jeans, and turns to Rey. She doesn’t meet his eyes, feigning busyness with the cuffs of her sleeves.

“Rey.” 

Hesitating, she looks up, meeting his eyes. Shadows under his eyes, the grey appearing more prominent in his hair. 

“Rey--Finn told me what happened.”

She averts her gaze, ashamed. 

“It doesn’t--I don’t--please,  _ please _ , talk with me.”

She clenches her hands into fists to ease the shaking. “I’m sorry.”

“Rey, please--”

Tears are building in her eyes. Seeing him hurt, upset, and knowing she is the cause is simply too much. She turns to go.

His hand lands on her shoulder, fingers digging into her skin. “Come home,” he begs, eyes pleading. “Just come home.”

Behind him, Finn turns away, an unreadable expression on his face. 

She takes the hand on her shoulder and peels it off her. Holding his fingers in her own, she remembers Leia’s words and takes a deep breath. 

_ Maybe your heart is big enough for two people. _

She runs her fingers over the shape of the wire in her pocket. “Alright. I’ll come home.”

~

They say nothing on the ride home, just two ranchers on horses in the evening. They ride slowly, taking their time on the trail. Words unspoken linger between them, oppressive like the humid heat. As their ranch approaches on the horizon, Rey’s heart swells at the sight of her home. 

Maybe things will be right after all. 

As they near the barn, Poe suddenly stiffens in his seat. “Do you see that?”

“What?”

He urges Black Beauty forward, outpacing Falcon. 

When Rey reaches him, he’s on his knees on the ground, hat cast off, hands in his hair. 

She hurries to him, sliding off the saddle. “What is it?”

What she sees turns her stomach. A dead cow, perfectly slit down the middle, lays in the middle of the yard. It’s innards are on full display, and flies eagerly buzz around the carcass. 

No mistaking it, this is a threat.

Rey gags, turning away. 

Poe starts up. “BB,” he breathes, panicked. “BB! Here, girl!” He whistles, scanning the yard.

From the house, there is an answering bark, and BB comes sprinting to them. She skids to a stop by Poe, leaning against his legs. “Good girl,” he says, patting her and rubbing her ears. 

Rey turns her back to the animal carcass and focuses on Poe. “What do we need to do?”

Poe shakes his head. “Warn Leia?”

“Protect our herd?”

“Protect ourselves.” His mouth tightens into a thin line.

They stare at each other, exhausted and at a loss. 

From the distance, the sound of pounding hooves grows nearer. Rey reaches for the gun newly holstered at her waist (thanks Luke), but it’s unnecessary. It’s Finn, on a foaming horse, out of breath himself. 

“Finn!” Rey reaches for his horse to calm it, just as Finn slides off and collapses to the ground.

“Are you alright?” Poe drops beside him, already searching for wounds.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Finn pants, “--But Kylo is here. He set fire to D’Quar.” He sits up, sweat running down his temple. He fixes them both with a wide-eyed, fearful stare. “He was looking for me.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for: torture, burns, verbal abuse, binding/tied up, mild physical violence (slapping, punching), veiled threat of rape
> 
> Kylo is a bad dude

“For you?” Poe kneels and puts a hand to Finn’s shoulder. “Why?”

Rey knows--it’s revenge, it’s hate. 

In the distance, their cattle bawl, and the sound sends a shudder through her. “He’s taking our cattle,” she murmurs, and sprints to the barn. 

Falcon waits for her, ready. She saddles him and climbs aboard in record time, urging him out the door and toward the field. 

Poe looks up as she gallops by, and she catches a fragment of his shout: “Rey! Wait--”

(Another man shouted for her to wait. Another man she loves shouted her name like that. But now is not the time to remember that.  _ Now is not the time. _ )

She lets the wind toss his words away and bends low over Falcon’s neck. He flies like wildfire, like the wind on the plains, like a bullet from a gun--

Gun. She has hers ready, her fingers already itching for the trigger.

Kylo will pay. He will pay, and he will never touch her friends or her home again.

She tops a ridge and spots them, the moving herd of cattle, being rounded by some of Kylo’s riders. Kylo himself is off to the side, surveying the process, sitting tall on his horse. He is looking toward her, like he knew she was coming.

Heading directly for him, she shouts, “Kylo!” throwing it out like a challenge that smolders between them.

She pulls out her gun and shoots twice in rapid succession. Both shots go wide, but the noise scares the cattle enough that they begin to scatter, heedless of the riders’ herding. 

Kylo’s form shakes, and his laughter rolls toward her, spurring her on. She leans further over Falcon’s neck, her vision narrowing to him in a pinprick of hatred. When he pulls out his own gun, the first spark of fear strikes her heart, but she presses onward. His first shot flies over her head.

The second shot catches her in the hip.

She cries out and nearly falls as Falcon swerves. Her hand flies to her side, and is met by hot blood. When she looks up, she’s reached him, and she pulls up Falcon.

Kylo is laughing. “Please. You thought you could take on me?”

“You’re not so scary.”

“Hm.” He levels his gun at her. “Come with me, and all this--” he gestures at the milling cattle “--will be as it was before.”

Rey takes a shaky breath, hissing through her teeth at the pain in her hip. “No.” Slowly, she raises her own gun. “I want you to leave. Go away. Go.”

Kylo cocks his head, slowly. The mask obscures his expression, but his gun shifts to the left. “Alright. Come with me, or I hurt... _ him.” _

Rey turns, and there is Poe--hatless, standing only a few yards away. Much too close for comfort. His eyes are panicked, worried, mouth just slightly open. Rey sighs, knowing what’s going to happen. 

She lowers her gun, and with it, her confidence drains away. “Fine.” She swallows. “I’ll go with you. Just don’t hurt him.”

Kylo snaps his fingers, and one of his riders appears at his side. He whispers a few commands, but Rey doesn not hear. She looks back to Poe, tears filling her eyes. She wants to speak, but no words come forth. Choking on the lump in her throat, she mouths,  _ I’m sorry. I’m sorry. _

Rough hands jerk her from the horse, and she yelps as her hip is bumped and jostled. She keeps her eyes on Poe, wanting her last sight to be of him, to be of someone she loves--

Two men tackle him. He goes down swinging, but they bludgeon him over the head, and he slumps to the ground.

Rey screams, the sound ripping from her throat. 

Two more of Kylo’s men grab her arms and toss her over Kylo’s saddle. He guides her into a sitting position in front of him, though she offers him no help. His leather gloved hands peel off her skin and she thinks of snakes, of reptiles, of slime. Her stomach churns.

Poe’s body is thrown over the back of a horse. She whimpers, and Kylo pats her shoulder.

“Now, now, none of that. He will be fine. Headache, perhaps, but nothing worse. Yet.”

She starts to shake, beginning with her hands and creeping up her whole body. Her breath comes shorter, tears threatening.  _ What have I done? What will happen now? _

Kylo pats her shoulder like he’s consoling her. “I’m so sorry about all this, my dear--”

“ _ Don’t. Call. Me. That.” _

He removes his hand from her shoulder, his voice turning hard and nasty. “Fine. Be that way.”

He yanks a black bag over her head. Kylo kicks his heels into the horse. With the loss of vision and direction, her breath comes shorter and shallower, until finally, she passes out, slumping against his chest in a murky haze.

~

She comes to swiftly, sucking in air and every inch of her body tensing. She’s in a cave, that much she can see, the blackness seeming to go on forever in front of her. Her shadow falls forward, so there must be a fire behind her, but she’s facing a cave wall. All she can see is dark and shadows and rock.

She is strapped to a chair, ropes binding her ankles to the legs and her hands to the back of the chair. A leather belt forces her upright. Experimentally, she shifts her weight, trying to move the chair. When nothing happens, she throws her body more forcefully to the side, but all that happens is the ropes bite tighter to her skin. It must be stabilized somehow.

Finally, desperately, she shouts,  _ “Poe!” _

Her shouts echoes in the cave, but there is no answering shout, no familiar call back to her. Instead, there are heavy footsteps, and Kylo slowly walks round to tower over her. 

“I’m glad you’re awake,” he says, his deep voice like two folds of velvet rubbing together. 

Rey shudders. 

“Oh, don’t be like that.” He crouches to at eye level with her. “There’s no need to be afraid of me.” 

Rey glowers. “You’re despicable.” 

He pauses, cocking his head. Slowly, he reaches up to his mask. He starts by removing the black cowboy hat, then pulls down the balck bandana over his mouth and chin. Finally he reaches behind his head and slowly removes the black leather mask that covers his eyes. He upturns his face to her.

What she sees is...just a man. A young man, with pimple scars on his cheeks, and shades of both Leia and Han in his face. 

“Don’t be afraid, Rey.” He strokes her cheek with a gloved hand. It feels like slime on her skin.

She turns away. 

“Please don’t.”

Steeling herself, she looks him dead in the eyes. “I know who you are.”

“Me?”

“You’re Leia’s son.”

His face turns vacant, sad. “I’m no son of theirs.”

“But you are. I see it in you.”

“They never loved me as they should. They always loved others more. Like Poe. Or you.”

“They want you to come home!”

His expression twists bitterly. “It’s no home of mine.” He rises, swift and sharp, snatching her side. “I’m sorry about this,” he says, and reaches for the wound on her hip. 

“Wait, please--”

He digs in with gloved fingers, rooting through the inflamed skin. Seeing white spots, Rey screams. 

“Hm. Beautiful.” He holds up the bullet in bloody fingers. “Get well soon.”

She manages to glare at him long enough for him to exit, but then she hangs her head and cries. 

~

Judging by the way the shadows in front of her fall, night has passed. Ren has not visited her again, nor has anyone else. She’s hungry and exhausted, and her hip hurts. The rope binding cut into her wrists. _ If only I could get one hand free…  _ She wriggles, trying to pull free, but her efforts are in vain.

Footsteps approach. She stills her hands. 

It’s not Ren, but one of his faceless lackeys. And--

“Poe!” 

He collapses to the ground beside her. His hands and feet are tied. 

“Rey, oh god, are you alright, are you hurt?”

“I’m alright, I’m alright--” she strains against the strap at her chest. “Your head, are you okay?”

He grimaces. “Sore. But I’m okay.” He glances after the lackey. “Wish they’d feed us.”

She laughs wetly. “I’m hungry too.”

He crawls closer to her, until he can slump in her lap. “I’m so sorry, Rey.”

“Whatever are you sorry for?”

“For not protecting you, for bringing you here--”

“I chose this. I chose--I chose to come here.”  _ I chose you. _

He presses his face to her knee. “What’re they going to do to us?”

She shakes her head, whispering, “I don’t know.”

“Oh, Rey, I--” he looks up at her, dark eyes shining with unshed tears. “If we don’t--’

“Poe, Poe, please. Let’s just take some deep breaths, wait a minute--”

“No! I need you to hear this!”

“What?” The word is barely there, more a broken sob than anything else.

“Rey, I wish I’d found the words to tell you sooner, but--I love you. I’ve always loved you, almost from before we met. Your letters, and then you--” He stops, and kisses her knee.

Even through her jeans, his mouth is warm.

He lifts his eyes to gaze at her. “I’ve loved you for so long now, Rey, I just--I never found the words to tell you so.”

The world spins around her. “You love me?”

“Yes. And I’m so sorry, so sorry for never telling you so. I drug you out here, to this dry desert, to all this danger--oh, god, Rey, this is all my fault.

“No! No, never.”

He buries his face in her lap again. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy here. For you to feel loved, here.”

She jerks under the ropes, desperate to bury her hands in his hair, to lift his face to kiss him--

“But what about Finn?”

He settles back, contemplative. “Finn.”

“You--you love him, too, don’t you?”

His voice is small, afraid. “Yes.”

Her chest heaves in a half-laugh. “So do I! I love him--like I love you, Poe. I’ve loved you from the start.”

“You do?” He’s looking at her again, brows curved, mouth agape.

“Yes, I--I do. I love both of you, I think.”

He scrambles to his knees, leaning for her, and she bends forward against her bindings. Their mouths brush, just a strained suggestion of a kiss, and Rey savors the faint flavor of him on her lips. 

He groans. “I’ve wanted to do that forever.”

The shaped wire burns in Rey’s pocket, reminding her of all she wants, all that might very well be in her reach. 

“Well, isn’t that sweet.” The sound of Kylo’s voice jerks them both from their shared moment, as he stalks to the front of them. He’s back in his mask, Rey notes, and there’s a gun hanging heavy at his waist. She swallows. “Come with me.”

One of Ren’s men appears and begins the work of untying Rey. Another hefts Poe to his feet, slicing through the rope at his ankles. 

Poe kicks out, nailing the man in the knee, and he starts for Kylo, clearly planning to do what damage he can. Poe is fast, but Kylo is faster, and he punches Poe in the stomach, causing him to double over. 

Rey bites her lip against the words she’d like to say to Ren. 

The men drag Poe and Rey outside. They squint in the sun, the light like a punch to the eye sockets. They tie Poe and Rey to horse stakes, leaving them almost no tether. 

When her eyes adjust, Rey can see they are in a canyon, but from what she can tell, it’s not very large, nor easy to enter. Rock walls reach high in every direction, and there’s no path to the top as far as she can see. In front of them is the camp. Their horses are staked nearby, and a cook tends a campfire with a large pot over it. 

Sharply, Rey thinks of Finn, and she aches.

The rest of the men are around the camp, most of them wearing dark colored riding clothes. And, there--lounging in the shade of a rock and fanning himself with a languid hand--is Hux. Rey only barely manages to hide her shock, but she nudges Poe. 

“Look--there. Makes sense doesn’t it?”

Poe grits his teeth, and says nothing. 

Kylo strides to them, carrying a hot stick, the tip white from the fire. He roughly grabs Poe’s elbow and yanks up the sleeve of his shirt. “For your insolence in the cave.” He presses the tip to Poe’s forearm.

Poe screws his eyes shut and screams, a guttural yell. Sweat pours from his temples. 

“Perhaps that will teach you to cool down,” Kylo says, and tosses the stick down, crushing the embers with the heel of his boot.

Poe slumps forward, slipping to his knees. Tears pressing, Rey strains toward him, but her rope gives her little slack. 

“If I kill you--” Kylo acts oblivious to Poe’s pain “--I could simply take your ranch for my own. I would have no need to steal your cattle. It would be rightfully mine.”

Poe snaps up. His sweaty hair falls over his bloodshot eyes. He looks, Rey thinks, tragically beautiful. “Nothing about it would be right. Nothing about  _ you _ is right.”

Kylo, silent, crouches and tilts his head at Poe. 

Poe stares right back, as though the impenetrable mask isn’t even there. “So...who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?”

Kylo makes a sound like a snarl under his mask. 

“I’m sorry it’s just hard to understand you with the…” Poe nods at Kylo’s face, “Accessories.”

Rey loves him so fiercely in that moment she feels she will burst from it. 

Kylo rises swiftly, and snaps his fingers at Hux. The pale man hurries over, avoiding meeting Rey and Poe’s eyes. 

“See that they are alive long enough for me to decide how to punish them.” 

Hux nods stiffly. 

“And then I will break them. One. By. One.” He grabs Rey’s chin in his hand. “I will make you watch me tear him apart limb from limb. And when you beg me to stop, I will force him to watch me take you as my own.”

Rey curls her lip at him, even as tears run freely down her cheeks. 

Hux coughs. “I’m not sure--”

Kylo slaps him, sharp and hard. “Don’t question me!” he roars. 

Hux blinks, a welt already swelling on his cheek. “Yes, sir.”

As he marches away, dust rises in his footsteps and settles on Rey’s sweaty skin.

~

By the time night falls, Hux has seen to it that they are fed and Rey’s gunshot would is cleaned and wrapped. Kylo takes some riders and disappears in the afternoon, presumably to wreak more havoc on the town. 

It is when night falls and the camp torches are lit, terror returns. 

Kylo has Poe untied, making him stand in front of Rey. He has his men stand in a semi-circle, making escape impossible. Poe is stripped of his shirt, his mouth bound. 

She watches his face, trying to convey her sorrow, her love for him. Hoping to grant him what strength she can. He holds her gaze.

Kylo circles him, a coyote scenting it’s kill. In one hand, he has a horse whip. In the other, a branding iron. 

“Where shall we begin?” He runs the whip over Poe’s shoulders, a threat.

Poe does not move his eyes from Rey. 

“Like a horse? Like a cow?” He stands between them, blocking their view of one another. “Answer me!”

Rey flinches at the sound of a slap. 

“Still nothing? Fine.” Kylo raises the whip over his head.

From the air come two gunshots. 

Both Rey and Kylo search the blackness for a source. From the wall of the canyon comes a single torch. 

“What?” Kylo motions for one of his lackeys to investigate. 

Suddenly there are hundreds of torches all around the rim of the canyon, some of them moving down, some staying at the top. Shouts rise, echoing down the walls and rebounding until it seems they are facing an army. 

Kylo and his men scramble for their weapons, scattering across the camp. 

“Rey!” Poe hurries to her. 

“What’s happening?”

“I don’t know! What do we do?”

“I--” Poe spins, looking for answers. 

“Come with me!” A new voice intrudes from behind them.

Rey and Poe whirl to find the new person. 

It’s Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a brutal chapter, y'all. I'll admit to having a cup of tea with Satan when I wrote it. 
> 
> One more chapter!!!
> 
> I have it drafted!! I'm so excited!!
> 
> Hope y'all are well!!


	12. Chapter 12

“Finn, oh my god,” Rey collapses into his arms the moment he has her untied. “What are you doing here?”

“Rescuing you, what’s it look like?”

Poe is on them in a second, wrapping his arms around them both. “Buddy, I’m so glad to see you.”

“Yeah yeah, thank me later. We gotta go!” He pulls them to their feet hurrying back up the canyon, the way they came. He tosses them both six-shooters, just in case.

Rey throws a look over her shoulder. The camp is chaos. She catches a glimpse of Luke, then Jess Pava. One of Ren’s men throws a torch at Jess. It catches her shirt on it’s way by, and Rey panics that she will be engulfed in flames. Instead, she slaps it out with a gloved hand, and snarls at the man.

“I’m a blacksmith, dummy! You really think a little fire would scare me?”

“Rey!” Finn shouts. “Hurry!”

She follows him and doesn’t look back.

Finn leads them up the canyon, as it gets narrower and narrower. Finally, it is too narrow for them to walk through. This is when Finn turns to the wall, and begins to climb. 

There’s a rope hanging from the top that he occasionally uses as support, but mostly he braces on his hands and feet. Once he reaches the top, he turns around and motions for Poe and Rey to do the same. It’s not very high anymore, at least lower than it was back at the camp. 

Poe holds out his hand for Rey to go first. 

She shakes her head. “Go. You’re in worse shape than me.”

He opens his mouth to protest.

“Go.  _ Go!” _

His jaw sets, and she can tell he’s not happy, but he starts to climb. Rey turns back to watch up the canyon, toward the sounds of chaos. 

Kylo Ren is running up the pass. 

Rey reaches for her gun, unholstering and cocking it. She fires twice in rapid succession, but both shots narrowly miss him. 

He skids to a stop. His bullet bangs into the rocks beside Poe. 

Shouting, Poe scrabbles for footing and clings to the rope.

“Finn!” Rey shouts, “Pull him up!”

He strains and grunts as he begins to pull the rope upward. 

_ “Rey!” _ Poe screams, reaching a hand for her. 

Rey takes a deep, settling breath, letting her eyes skim over Kylo and down the canyon, looking behind him, and back to Kylo. This is her fight. It ends here, and it ends for good. She’s not going down without taking Ren with her. 

And she better do it in four shots, because that’s all she has left.

From the top of the canyon, Poe and Finn take aim. A few shots pepper down, and Kylo returns fire before turning his attention completely to Rey. 

“What do you want?”

“What I’ve always wanted. What is rightfully mine.” He takes a step closer.

“And what is that?” She tilts her chin up, trying to hide her fear. 

“Anything I want.” He takes another step.

She fires a shot in the dust between his feet. “Don’t take another step.”  _ Three shots. Stall, stall… _

“Threatening me now? Rey, you know the truth.  _ You are just like me.” _

Above her, rocks tumble down the canyon side as Poe and Finn try to get Rey up the wall. Poe swings his leg over the side to start back down. Rey takes careful aim and shoots just below him, taking away a foothold. Rocks fall to the canyon floor as Poe scrambles back over the side. 

_ Two shots. _

“Look, you’re even turning on your friends.”

“Friends? Please. That man is my husband.” 

He steps closer. 

She holds her pistol up, keeping him at bay. “Don’t try it. I want you to leave and never return. Get out of here. Leave us alone!” 

“Why don’t you just kill me?”

“Because,” Rey says, holding her gun steady, “I’m waiting for your mother.” 

From down the canyon, behind Kylo, rides Leia on a horse, her gun drawn. Leia meets Rey’s eyes, and in unison, they raise their guns and fire into the air. The sound reverberates around the canyon, bouncing off rocks and ringing in their ears.

Kylo spins, startled. 

Rey snatches the rope and Poe and Finn pull her up. She rolls over the canyon side and pants, heart pounding. “With one bullet to spare.” In a moment, she rolls back around to peer over the side at Leia and Kylo. 

“Leia,” says Kylo.

“Don’t call me that,” she snaps, “I am your mother.”

“Mom,” he repeats, softer, a shake in his voice.

Leia stares down at him from atop her horse. “Take that ridiculous thing off. I want to see the face of my son.”

Hesitantly, like he doesn’t want to, Kylo reaches up and begins untying and removing his hat and mask. Even the fearsome Kylo Ren cannot resist the orders of Leia Organa-Solo. When finished, he drops the black mask to the ground, leaving his hands at his sides. 

Her posture shifts, ever so slightly. “Ben,” she says, so softly the trio on top of the ridge barely hear her.

“Mom,” he says again and takes a step toward her.

Her spine stiffening, she tightens the grip on her gun. “Don’t try anything stupid.”

“But Mom--”

“No.” Her voice is cold, hard. This is no longer the voice of a mother, but the voice of command. A sheriff. A judge. “You need to leave, Kylo. You need to leave and never come back. You’ve done too much to this town. It’s time for you to go.”

He drops his shoulders, defeated. “At least let me gather my men. Please.”

Leia hesitates, but slowly turns to let him head up the canyon. The dark covers them in only a few steps.

Finn gets to his feet first. “C’mon. We need to get back to everyone else.”

“Everyone else?” 

Finn reaches out a hand to help Poe up. “Everyone else. The whole town’s here for you!”

“That’s...incredible,” Rey feels lightheaded. After all that, she can hardly believe it’s  _ over. _

The entrance to the canyon is only a short walk down. Finn points out a narrow passage leading to the rift. It’s incredibly easy to miss, until they are right on top of it. As they go back into the canyon, the ground grows steep and rocky. 

Rey slips on some pebbles, and reaches out to steady herself on a boulder. Under her fingers, it wobbles. She hastily retracts her hand. 

Poe offers his hand to her. “May I be of assistance?”

She takes it, her fingers warm on his palm. “Of course.”

By the time they reach the bottom of the canyon, where Rey recognizes her surroundings, Leia and Kylo have beaten them back. Torchlight casts an orange hue over everything, sending eerie shadows up the canyon walls. Ren’s riders are there--more than one of them nursing wounds of some kind. Most of Rey’s friends look unharmed. Cedric Pio is wrapping Jess Pava’s bicep with a clean bandage, and Snap Wexley has a nasty bruise forming over his eyes and purpling across his cheekbone. 

“Han!” Leia shouts, and he emerges from the crowd. She dismounts and throws her arms around him. 

“Leia,” he murmurs. 

“I’ve brought him. I’ve brought him--” she steps back. 

Around them, people look away in respect, moving with some imagined pretext. Rey finds that she cannot look away from the family reunion, from the way Kylo’s face resembles Han’s own, from the way they size each other up with equal amounts of pain in their eyes. 

“Dad?”

“Oh, son.” Han moves to him, reaching to embrace him.

Kylo stretches to him, pulling him in for a hug, and then--

And then--

There is a bang.

A spray of blood.

Han crumples to the ground. 

Leia screams. 

Kylo moves for her horse, but someone shoots him in the arm. He cries out, clutching at the wound.

Rey looks to see who shot him, and finds--to her surprise--Hux, lowering a gun and putting his hands in the air as Poe leaps to subdue him. 

Kylo swings onto Leia’s horse, slapping the reigns. 

Finn leaps out of the way of the charging animal. 

Rey thinks fast, her world narrowing to the pounding of her heart and her finger on the trigger. No second chances. No mistakes. 

She fires.

Kylo freezes, his face oddly empty. Slowly, he slides off the horse and into the dust, his blood staining the ground. 

Rey drops her gun and falls to her knees, tears welling up. She looks to the form of Han, the toe of his boot unmoving. The rest is obscured by crouching Leia and worried Cedric. Finn and Poe surround Rey, strong arms shielding her from the sight of his dead body. Poe mumbles in her ear like he does to spooked horses, little shushing and murmurs. 

“Finn--Poe--he’s--Han--” 

Finn tightens his grip on her. “It’s okay, Rey, you’re okay.”

Through her hiccuping, she finally manages, “I just want to go home. Please just take me home.”

Poe and Finn share a look over her head. 

“Okay sweetheart,” Poe says, “We’re going home.”

~

What happens in the in-between is mostly lost to Rey’s memory. There is food, and visits from Cedric (and Arthur, forever hovering to the side), and there is sleep. Blessed, deep, dreamless, sleep. When she comes back to herself, three days have passed, and D’Qar has righted itself. 

Most of the town escaped fire damage--only the general store was really hit bad, and even then, only part of the front. Lando has offered to finance the repairs and lost merchandise, and he seems to want to stick around. He and Jannah set about the business of putting things to rights. Finn, meanwhile, is busy helping Rey and Poe heal, and repair the damages done to their own ranch when Kylo came

The other buildings that took damage are cleaned by community effort, with Leia rounding up any reluctant stragglers. Rose feeds the workers through the whole process during the day, and at night she goes to the general store and spends time with Jannah. Some nights Rose stays with Jannah, and other nights, Jannah stays with Rose. After all, they only live across the street. 

Chewie makes himself at home on Leia’s ranch, joining her and Luke’s band of hired hands. Those men set to rounding up all the cattle Kylo stole, and returning it to rightful owners. Most of his rustling took place from ranches within a forty-mile radius, so Leia sends out small groups of cowboys to drive the cattle home. When fall comes, everyone will get their chance to sell the cattle for the drive. 

~

Han’s funeral is at Leia’s ranch. The preacher says a few words, and they all take a moment to weep, and remember him. Even Rey sheds a tear. He is buried on Leia’s ranch, but out in the fields, under the wide blue sky. Not even a tree marks the place.

Rey thinks it fits him. With Leia, and yet, free.

After the ceremony, folks push back the tables and chairs and Maz gets up with her fiddle to start a square dance. 

“A dance at a funeral?” Rey asks Poe.

“He would have wanted it that way,” is all he says.

And watching Leia’s face--as her grief melts away and wrinkles fade from her face as she dances with all their friends--Rey believes he’s right. 

~

Rey never asks what happened to Kylo’s body, or to his men. Frankly, she just doesn’t care.

She does, however, ask Poe one thing. “What was it Hux said to you? Right after he shot Kylo?”

“He told me he never forgets a kindness. And that you had done a great one for him.”

Rey nods, remembering the barn raising. Kindness begats kindness. Even in the hardest of hearts.

~

Finn, for his part, quietly and unobtrusively moves to the Dameron ranch. At first, he is helping Rey and Poe as they recover, cooking them hot, solid food, cleaning their house, feeding their animals. Then, it simply becomes normal. He is there, and they are there together, and that is how it should be.

Rey finishes her wire sculpture a week after Han’s funeral. It no longer fits in her pocket, the different sections of it worked together into the final piece. It’s not perfect, nor particularly beautiful. But she finds a square board, and uses it as a base, driving the wires in with an awl. That night at dinner, she sets it in the middle of the table, and waits.

Finn sets down the dinner dishes. “Did you make that?”

“Yes.”

He leans closer, examining the way the wires interlock and twist. “It’s lovely.”

Rey squints at it. It is dusty, and in places rusted, but she supposes it’s pleasing in it’s own way.

Poe stomps the dirt off his boots at the door, doing a double take at the table. “Rey? Is this yours?”

“Yes. I made it.”

Poe joins Finn in their examination of it. They orbit it, heads tilting this way and that. Finally, Poe straightens, says, “Rey--” and he kisses her. 

(How long has she wanted this? Forever,  _ forever. _ )

His mouth is sweet and gentle, his thumb brushing her cheek. When he stops, her eyes drift open to find his smile. And then he is turning, and seizing Finn by the elbow, and kissing him, too. 

They press their foreheads together, eyes screwed closed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Poe whispers.

“Because I was afraid,” Finn replies, opening his eyes. “I was afraid of what might happen, that trouble would find me again--” he glances at Rey, down to the healing bullet wound in her hip “--and it did.”

“It will never haunt you again,” she says, and pulls him to her. 

Poe reaches for both of them, his arms strong around their waists, nuzzling first at Rey’s hair, then Finn’s shoulder, like he can’t quite believe this is real. 

At their feet, BB is panting and whacking their legs with her tail.

There is something warm stirring in Rey’s belly, deeper than arousal or desire; something warm spreading up her spine until it forms in her smile. 

She looks back at the sculpture one more time. A desert rose, with three blooms, shaped from old wire, made into something beautiful. 

She kisses each of them, one by one, and holds both of their hands in hers. 

Beautiful. 

~

Fall comes faster than Rey expects, whether turning wet and cool, sweeping across the plains. She’s been here now for a season, and she will be here for many seasons more. She watches as leaves turn from green to brown, as the skies fill with gathering clouds, and holds her breath for the change to come.

The cattle drivers arrive and buy the best of Poe’s offerings, earning him a healthy sum. It’s time to focus on preparing for winter, now, storing and drying food, and canning. So much canning. Finn fills the kitchen with the steam and smells of his hard work, and is rewarded with rows upon rows of multi-colored jars on the windowsill that shine like jewels in the sun.

Each day is filled with hard work, and each day is rewarding. Some days are harder than others, but most days are good. 

Though her hip has healed, she will never again walk without a slight limp. And as the weather turns, she knows her hip will ache with cold. But Finn gives her flannel bags filled with warmed dry beans, and Poe massages the muscles when the pain gets bad, and she knows she’ll be okay. Poe will always bear the burn scar on his arm. Neither of them will ever forget what happened. Rey dreams about it sometimes--Kylo in his mask, of Han crumpling to the ground, hazy images of Plutt’s factory, and the horrors there. It takes her a long time to shoot a gun again, though she carries it everywhere. It takes her longer not to flinch when the shot goes off. 

Some mornings, she wakes, and is unsure where she is, frozen in the fear she’s back east. But then she rolls over and sees Finn and Poe tangled together, and all is well. 

Winter is coming, and though Rey guesses from Poe’s worried figuring, and Finn’s incessant drying and canning, it will be a hard season. But after winter comes spring, and the desert roses will grow again, and they will be surrounded by the blooms: generous and bountiful and lovely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what a journey. Thanks for sticking with me all this time. Thanks again for your support through my life circumstances, it really means a lot. I will miss your comments and love.
> 
> Some fun facts about this story: I live in Texas! I live in east Texas, and this is supposed to be in the panhandle, but still. Texas. It is twelve chapters because the first western I ever read was 12 chapters. I didn’t plan that until about chapter eight or so. Also the fact that the base is in a canyon is a reference to Riders of the Purple Sage, which is my favorite western novel to date.
> 
> Thanks again to my betas--I really owe a lot to them. 
> 
> And thanks to foxgrrl42 for the playlist--you can find it [here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpvyfcenPU-JlGu2fMKANmkaTHe2RABSw) and here
> 
> Come visit me on [tumblr](stillusesapencil.tumblr.com) pretty please! I am always open to making more friends.


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